The Analytical Armadillo posted this last year… source unknown…
I’m thankful for not having boobs thrown in my face all the time by offensive and indecent breastfeeding mothers like the ones below:
Wait…Well, this is a bad example. Let’s try again.
Hmm…Just a minute. I’m sure I can find better ones than these…
Eh, still not offensive enough. I’ll check one more time.
That is better. LOOK AT THAT! I see about a half inch of boob. DISGUSTING.
UGH. Look at that indecency! She must be from some third world country to be exposed like that!
Now that’s just…There are no words to descripe how inappropriate that is. Something needs to be done!
But why stop at breasfeeding women? There are boobs everywhere.Beware! If you thought the above photos were offensive, youWILL DEFINITELY be offended by the photos below.
Not this one, though. This one was in plain view on news stands and in mail boxes in 19 countries world wide!
Not this one, either. This one actually won an award!
Oh, and I guess this one is fine too. Everyone knows you can’t sell jeans without someone being topless.
Or beer, for that matter.
Or sunglasses.
Or movie tickets.
Or CDs…
You know what? Maybe I’m crazy, but I think that someone mixed up some photos here. The first batch are offensive, but the second batch are just fine and dandy???
People who live in glass bras:
Shouldn’t throw stones:
If you think women have the right to breastfeed their children no matter where they are, please repost this…comment vote it popular whatever . Support breastfed babies and their right to eat in public!
Nature's Mothers Blog 
[…] “I’m embarrassed to breastfeed in public”. Ummm, use a blanket, a muslin or a breasteeding cover if you’re worried someone may see the source of your babies nourishment. It’s really not that hard or that big a deal, and it’s completely NORMAL! See my post Breastfeeding in public is offensive – see for yourself! […]
Yes, please DO use a blanket, a muslin or a breastfeeding cover … for your own comfort and privacy AND for the sake of anyone around you who may become uncomfortable. I believe moms should be able to freely breastfeed their little ones in public, but personally, I don’t want to see your bare boobs, your nipples or your kid suckling away at them … I don’t know you, you don’t know me, and I’m uncomfortable seeing some random woman’s naked boob out there with her child (whom I obviously don’t know either) suckling away at their lunch. I’ven seen many nursing moms cover up and feed their kids in public – no biggie to me. But, let me ask this, why am I the bad guy (or gal) because I don’t want to see a stranger’s bare boob with her kid at the nipple when I’m waiting at a restaurant for my table or waiting for my prescription at CVS?
Um…can you not avert your eyes? Is it more ‘disgust’ or ‘turn-on’ that has you responding. We have the choice to walk away from people who smoke in public…whom I believe are even more offensive since we have to work that much harder to get away from them and the true health risk their public behavior imposes.
When you say smoking in public is even more offensive, you are implying that breastfeeding in public is offensive!! One causes cancer, one prevents cancer. No comparison, sorry.
No offence meant…just saying x
I feel really sorry for people like yourself. Existence is life. Remember that. Go back to basics and get a grip in the real world. Try and honor life- including your own!
Sorry, you don’t get a choice. Breastfeeding is natures way of feeding our young. Just like we all eat in public, our babies do too. It happens to be from the breast, which is amazing and nothing you should have a choice about. If a little bit of breast shows, it really doesn’t matter, stop being so weird about the body, nature, and the boob-get over it.
If seeing my son breastfeed offends you, put a blanket over YOUR head. It’s what breasts are meant for! Mammals…mammaries…get it?
Then don’t look, damnit! If. you. don’t. want. to. see. don’t. look. PERIOD.
Dear Marie, You don’t want to see an infant child having their lunch while you wait for a table. Probably the infant didn’t want to see you either. But they got over it. You should too.
I don’t like a lot of things in the world around me. That’s life. One thing I don’t like is someone using a twisted sense of morality or decency to try to prevent something as healthy and natural as breastfeeding in public.
I agree, Marie! I have breastfeed and in public and never had any issues! You can breastfeed and be discreet and respectful of those around you. If you want respect give respect to those around you, it is that simple. If you can’t respect those around you and be discreet then do not get offended when we do not want to see you boob! Respect goes both ways!
ok so if you saw a dog or cat feeding their young would you be offended and throw a blanket over it? seriously? it is 100% natural. Why dont you eat under a blanket at a restaurant then. Eat your breakfast/lunch/dinner where noone else can see you and you have to sit in the dark. My daughter HATES my cover so I dont use it. Get over it.
As a breast feeding mother i agree with you, When in public please use a cover. I breast feed both of my sons, when we were out in public i used a cover. I am not ashamed of my body, or my sons being breast fed. I do however believe that it IS a privet affair.. and i don’t want to see other women’s breast or privet moment that they share with thier child. I support beast feeding, I believe that every mother who is able should at the very least attempt to breast feed their child. Please, don’t let being in public keep you from doing so.. just be respectful and us a cover.
WOW ignorance in it’s purest form like seriously that is Complete Bullcrap – if anyone including YOU has a problem with Me ONIP(Openly nursing in public) then I’m going to set you straight right here & right now -i’m not going to inconvenience my babies feeding time because you can’t seem to stop gawking at my semi bare breasts turn the hell away don’t look – people like you I wish I had the power to make blind just so I wouldn’t have to read such garbage on the net or even hear of it ! who knows maybe then you’d learn to appreciate The beauty of nursing mothers & their beautiful babies more? – & btw alil’ FYI for ya I’m going to nurse where ever & when ever can !!! You wouldn’t want to eat with a cover over your head would you ? How about a sheet ? Hmm how about a shirt ? Or blanket just imagine how uncomfortable it would be ! So why the hell should I have to put my child through all of that & be uncomfortable while eating ? Why? So you don’t have to be offended by my nusring breasts HA grow up & look away if it displease’s ya that much SMH & get a life too while your at it one that doesn’t involve gawking at women’s breasts ugh what a sicko you are & what perverted thing to do I swear -_-
But seeing a child sucking away at a bottle is ok….to a nursing mama it is essentially the same thing, they are feeding their child. Breasts lose ALL sexual use once you have BF a child.
My wife uses a cover, but that’s her own choice. Neither of us care if another woman decides not to use a cover. She’s feeding a baby, not dancing for money.
If its not okay for a women to breastfeed her child, while you can’t seem to avert your gaze somewhere else, but it is okay for an actress to throw her boobs around for you to see in a movie? They are used for the same purpose. You at some point, I am sure, were breastfed by your mother. Does that offend you? That YOUR mother cared enough for you to take the time out of her day to make sure that you were fed? Whether it be in public or not, you shouldn’t be staring in the first place. If you don’t like it, look the other way.
Hey fine…how about the next time you are waiting for your meal, you go over to the table of the childless single woman and tell HER to put her boobs away, that you don’t want to see her cleavage, or her nipple…oh yeah, because you DO! You just want to be offended because you think breasts are sexual. NOT!! My boobs have nourished seven children so far…as well as one VERY happy husband…who doesn’t have to spend a red cent to know his children are well fed, well nourished and he gets to enjoy the party too. If you really are offended by BOOBS you should look around at what’s hanging out of the shirts of most women NOT feeding their babies.
As an osteopath that works with babies I say: DONT use a blanket.
1 – When a baby is eating his body heats up a bit, so he will need all the fresh air he can get.
2 – Babies tend do sleep while eating if they are too much covered. This could cause some problems in the pattern eat-sleep
3 – Eye contact baby- mom is so important to creat a bond
Looking at it, it makes no sense at all: Do we know anyone that puts a blanket over the head while eating lunch?
The blanket over the head is used by a sociological reason, not a biological one.
You are free to leave the table or line while she is breastfeeding. What? You don’t have to carry a crying child and purse and diaper bag and toddler away from the table. Just get up and leave! That is your choice!
I think breastfeeding is a natural, amazing, wonderful thing and I think that its important for mothers to be able to feed their babies anywhere that is necessary for them. The choice to cover up is a personal one of course, but I think it is a bit harsh to tell someone that they are sick and wrong because they prefer to cover up and would prefer others to cover up. It can make people uncomfortable (especially men) and I think it is a respectful thing to be discreet. Its the way our society is and it probably won’t change anytime soon. That could be because (while we have respect for all religions) we are a Christian based country and many Christians feel that is is wrong to expose yourself in public for any reason. My husband and I feel that a women’s breasts are a special God-given thing that should saved for your husband and children. Because of this it does make my husband uncomfortable when moms openly BF and not in a sexual way, -its just our belief. I believe that Everyone should have the freedom to choose but I don’t see anything wrong with having a little courtesy and being discreet while breastfeeding in public.
You really believe that any part of *your* body was put their for anyone else’s convenience? Wake up, dear, your body, including *all* parts of it, is yours and yours only to to use as you like. I’m raised biblereading (atheist now), and I’m quite sure nowhere in Genesis the creator states to Adam ”I’ll put some nice cuddly boobs on your mate for your pleisure”
I Agree 1,000 percent. It’s none of my business how you feed your children, BUT i do NOT know you!
Marie you wierdo, you are the sort of women who should be BANNED from having kids! Leave the proper job to good mothers like us!!
I always covered up, mostly becuase it made it easier for my babies to focus and not be distracted by the world going by. But I am also sensitive to those who are uncomfortable with public nursing. That being said, even though i was aware of your discomfort, I’m not sure why I was solely responsible for making sure YOUR train of thought doesn’t go to a place that makes YOU uncomfortable. You don’t have to watch my child eat, and if you are that close at a restaurant to see my baby actualy suckling on my breast, the I would wonder how closely you are looking and question your own personal discretion. The only time you see actual breast is when a mother totally lifts her shirt over her shoulder. Otherwise, it’s almost impossible to see more than a small skiff of flesh (you see more at the beach) – it’s how nursing tops have been designed. You don’t go gawk at a maxum magazine, or even those trashy celeb magazines with half naked ppl and then email the magazine editors and complain that ‘it’s right in front of my face-change it please’. Nope, you just look away and move on with your life, and think nothing more of it. Nursing is only uncomfortable for people becuase they allow their train of thought to go to a place that is filled with lies and drama. You don’t have to look, whether I am covered up or not. And your thought process is not my responsiblity. If YOU choose to fixate on something that really isn’t disgusting or bad on any level, and make it disgusting or bad at some level in YOUR mind, that is not anyones issue to fix but your own. I would like to see people take some responsibility for themselves, rather than blame every other person who hits their buttons. The offence is yours, so deal with it, and don’t ask others to make it better, when they did nothing wrong in the first place. Again, I choose to cover up, mostly for my kids, but also becuase it’s exauhsting to argue why I’m not responsbile for everyone who can’t be responsible for themselves; IE: the ucomfortable ones who refuse to refocus their mind set – aren’t you glad I facilitate your mental laziness?! Me too – ok not really. So much drama, over such a little thing. And we wonder why the world seems to be becoming more and more entitled…
Oh my goodness are you for Real Marie? What you said was the most offensive things ever! how can a mother feeding her baby the best source of nutrients for a baby be offensive ohhhh u see alittle boobie? Grow up will you! I take offense to seeing mother BOTTLE FEED there child knowing that there is a much better and healther choice out there. the baby is hungry. So the baby needs to be feed. Why should I have to go to the bathroom to feed my child when bottle fed kids dont? I am feeding my kid. If i want to pull out my breast ( which shouldnt be a sexual thing) to feed my child then soo be it. If You’re uncomfortable that is you’re problem. I pray to God for you’re lack of maturity. As if you can say that.
Why are you the bad guy? Because it is you that feels entitled to make how you feel be the rule-book for others to live by. If you aren’t comfortable with public breastfeeding, don’t do it. If I paid $30 for my dinner and my baby gets hungry, he’s eating. Not in the cold car, not in the bathroom. At the table, like humans do. Have your opinion. No problem. But I have no obligation to oblige you.
Here’s a novel idea, ya ready for this one? Don’t look. If you see something you don’t like, or that offends you, just turn away and don’t look back.
Are you serious Heather? How can you be for understanding and acceptance when you cannot do that yourself? Why can’t we support each other as mothers instead of putting their choices down.
As a mother of two, I say support every mother. It is a hard job but the most rewarding.
Sorry, not Heather, I meant Nikki Catherine Pfohl
With my first baby, i actually tried feeding with a cloth over us. It was so clumsy and awkward. When my baby got old enough to use her hands, she did the most sensible thing of all, grabbed that sucker and tossed it away. A mother and baby are supposed to be gazing at each other when they feed. You’re supposed to be able to observe your breast and the way the baby is behaving at your breast. Women’s bodies are not disgusting and they are not for pornographic use. They are not even primarily for the purposes of sex and they do not belong to men. My body belongs to me. If you don’t want to see my bare boobs and the pure beauty of my baby suckling on them, then avert your gaze or walk away. It is our right. It is normal and healthy. To be discomforted shows you have a problem. Internalised misogyny, most probably.
I am a proud breastfeedinf mom, I will feed my daughter whenever and where ever she is hungry, I do not and will not cover up because even if I tried to my daughter will lift up the cover she doesn’t wanna be under one, so you say not to are you saying I should starve my child? I won’t if she is hungry she is eating. YOU don’t like it don’t look, better yet don’t go out!
Next time you see a cow with it’s baby calf nursing, yell at the cow to COVER UP BECAUSE IT’S DISGUSTING to see. (*Rolls eyes*) Breast feeding is NATURAL, it’s what breasts are for. If you have a problem with it then that’s YOUR problem, don’t look!
What’s more offensive, a baby eating or a baby screaming?
you are the bad guy because you have no problem watching a child drink a bottle of formula, which is basically poison, but do have a problem watching a natural feeding process. Everyone knows not to feed their infants cows milk but formula IS cows milk, chemically modified Cows Milk. And Soy formula is 45% corn syrup. Infant formula, when first introduced, could only be obtained by a doctors prescription, it was NEVER intended as an alternative to breastfeeding but rather a last ditch effort to save an infants life when no wet nurse could NOT be found. Research the origin, production and ingredients of infant formula. You will be appalled. Do you have a problem watching pigs suckle their young at the zoo, or a litter of kittens nursing.
But it’s okay to stare at christina agulaira or janet jackson’s boobs while you’re waiting in line at cvs!??
I do not ask you to cover while you eat. Next time you are at a restaurant please bring a blanket or muslin. I wouldn’t want to see you chew with your mouth closed. The nerve!
My baby also wears a helmet for medical reasons. Covering him up overheats him and he won’t eat. He pulls the blanket back. So again next time please make sure you cover while eating.
Wow, I don’t even think I have words for you, however let’s try this. Next time you’re in public eating and a mom is there nursing her baby, why don’t you try putting a cover over your head to eat. That way you won’t have to see anything around you 🙂 There problem solved!
I understand the point of these pictures but I still think that there is a time and place for breastfeeding and though it is natural, it is best done privately and discretely.
WHY is it best done privately or discretely? Because YOU have an issue with seeing something natural? Because you think of women’s breasts as sexual in nature so therefore cannot bear to see a little exposed skin when a mother is feeding her child? LOOK AROUND! You see more exposed skin in the low cut tops some women wear and on the covers of major magazines and catalogs. You’re right, breastfeeding a baby is natural. But it is not a sexual act nor is it a “private” act.
Yes, there is a time and place for breastfeeding…it’s any time and any place the baby is hungry!
I breastfeed in public all the time without a blanket and I’ve often had people come up to me trying to get a closer look at my baby’s face and sometimes they lean right over me before realizing that I’m breastfeeding. Sometimes they apologize, but they usually make a comment like “what a cutie”.
I’ve even had a few times when acquaintances have touched his hair (it’s white blonde and fluffy) while I’m feeding him and either didn’t notice or didn’t care.
Most people just assume that I’m cuddling with him or trying to put him to sleep, they don’t even notice that my shirt is up.
Never be embarrassed to nurse your child in public. That is your child we are talking about. But do use a cover up for only your respect and safety from all the perves out in this world. And for the women…you don’t like it then don’t look.
Hey I’m A-OK with mothers exposing their teat to feed their babies. Usually I’d have to throw a dollar bills at the strippers to even get a peak at their chest puppies. If and when this natural crude logic of a man is accepted in society then by all means… you mothers should do so. Heck you ain’t my mom… so I won’t feel weird about it.
I’ll just promise not to stare at those wonderful milk bladders of yours so much and you don’t give the stink eye for doing so and we’ll call it a deal.
I agree with Marie, I breastfed both my babies. Granted there are days you’re not a home, but I would use the family room or washroom to feed them. Even at home, when company was over, I’d fed my baby privately in the bedroom. That time was for my baby and myself…not god knows who, and ‘sharing’ that time with everyone else, but their dad.
Thank you! 🙂
WHEN I breastfed in public, there was always a blanket covering so no one really knew if I was or not. If there was a private place I could go, I prefered that. I don’t see problem with it unless they are showing the breast like in some of the pictures. There is no need for that. Why give people something to get upset about when it is not necessary.
I don’t use a blanket, too much of a faff and I wouldn’t like to eat with a blanket over my head, so why should I expect my babies to. You’ve got to see the point, people will kick breastfeeding mums out of restaurants – even those feeding discreetly, but never the girl who walks in with her boobs practically popping out… As far as I’m concerned – if my baby is hungry, I will feed her. If I accidently flash a bit of boob and people get upset, I believe that that is their problem! I will not hide to nourish my babies, sorry. I do not go to a private place, I do not believe that eating in public is offensive.
I find it all offensive. Both sets of pics are unnecessary. I’m sorry, but using a cover or blanket is not a horrible thing for people to ask. I don’t want my eating disturbed by seeing parts of a strangers naked body. I don’t care if it’s a breastfeeding mother or Olivia flipping Wilde, I don’t need to see it while I’m trying to eat my food, especially in a place I have to pay money to eat in. Just cover up. Everyone.
So it doesn’t matter to you if your little darling does not WANT to be covered, or keeps pulling the cover off? Do YOU eat with a blanket on your head? Give it a try sometime. And as a new mum learning how to breastfeed when you can’t see your baby, well that’s going to make life easier, isn’t it? Grow up. Boobs are for feeding babies. It doesn’t matter if you find it offensive, hopefully have a true appreciation of the wonder of nature.
Ignorance….that is about the only word to describe your comment. Don’t look if you’re bothered. breast are for eating babies. Just like your mouth is for feeding yourself. Maybe somebody doesn’t like watching you eat, so we should ask you to cover your head up, I find mouths offensive. They are used for kissing you know….
Have you ever eaten with a blanket over your head?
My little boy hated having something over his head when he was feeding and as far as I am concerned his needs come before that of the closed minded people who think that breastfeeding in public is offensive, be serious wouldn’t it be better use of your time if you are so concerned about offensive pics ect to campaign against the advertisement that we now see on the TV, mags, bill boards etc, it is ok to be half naked as long as you are sexualised and selling something. I do normally go to a parent room if there is one close enough however I am not walking all the way to the other end of the shopping centre with a screaming, hungry baby if he wants to be fed there and then then that is what I will do, all of you who oppose this need to get a life and find something that is REALLY worth complaining about.
Sounds like you are ashamed of breast feeding. People need to realize that women breasts were made for feeding our babies. It’s men that have turned them into sexual objects and women who have encouraged and enticed men with their breasts. We are talking about the life of a child here and they need the natural immunities their Momma can give them. If you are upset over seeing a woman breast feed their baby, how are you going to explain a cat with kittens nursing, a dog with puppies nursing and then you child will ask ” How did you feed me? Ask the person who objects to you feeding your baby in public if they are willing to pay the cost of formula? Tell them to go to Hooters for lunch and leave you alone!
Heck, I’m 58 and not nursing, although I did 20 yrs ago. But, i ‘m thinking about throwing a blanket over my shoulder and peeking lovingly at my boob. That ought to give ’em something to talk about.
Marcias, you crack me up! Thank you for your humor!
What on earth has older lady got to do with it, and why do you insult her breasts? If you don’t like it, don’t look. If you lived in a different part of the world, feeding a 5 year old may be completely natural. In Mongolia they believe that the longer you feed the more likely your child is to become a wrestler. The World Health Organization recommends feeding for AT LEAST two years. These women are doing what they feel is best for their child…who are you to judge and critisize!???
Comment below was a response to Becki McMahon, not the funny Marcias! x
above, not below. aah, too confusing :’)
No doubt about it.Breast feeding in public is sometimes unavoidable, but seeing an older lady whip it out (unroll it) on the public bus to feed a 5 year old??? That was sick. But talk about sickness.Who has the nerve to complain about breast feeding when they are the one’s taking the picture!
It is people like you that is the cause in the western world that means most mothers only breastfeed to 6months or a year, the ABA says we should feed to at least 2.5 years old as the baby benefits greatly from the breast milk, however the world average for breastfeeding is 6 years old, yes 6 YEARS OLD, if that is the persons choice then leave them alone, there is much worse things that are happening around our country that no one has the balls to say anything about and yet are happy to complain about a mother who is making the best decision for her child
hahaha thats great!!! I’d do the same thing just to shake it up.
Now, I would like to be there for that!!! Too funny!!! LMAO!!!
That’s great. I’m nearly 60 and fed all 5 of my girls as long as I could. Unfortunately not as long as I would have liked! I do think 5 years is a bit long, but each to her own! It’s your choice but at 5 yrs, the child should be aware of limitations when it comes to feeding in public as should the mother…”hey, you’re a big kid now, have a drink out of a cup until we get home!”…the same as 5yr olds sucking on dummies…I hate that!!! We weren’t in that “restaurant culture” that seems to prevail now! And as a Mom working on a dairy farm, never really had much ‘opportunity’ to try the feeding in public thing! But, when I had too? No blankets (I think that’s a phsycological thing forced on mothers to be ashamed of what is totally natural!) I tried to be as discrete as possible so as not to offend, but most people back then were most tolerant not like today. And the ones complaining??? Wait until they have kids!!! They generally have a complete about face in these matters! Myself, I would far sooner see women breastfeeding their children to seeing all those R rated magazines available in all the newsagents. Now, THAT is sick! Final opinion? GO to all those mothers who wish to breastfead their children, do it discretely (no blankets) and down to all the prudes who think it’s wrong! It’s NOT a sexual thing and if you think it is??,, YOU’RE the one with the problem!!!!
I agree with you Anne, well said. Except I guess you have to think that if you’re telling your 5 year old to drink out of a cup, you’re more than likely telling them to drink milk from another mammal rather than from their own kind (which if you really think about it, is rather strange). Just a thought. Saying that, I am rather pleased my nearly 4 year old is pretty much self weaned! She has a bit of breastmilk every few weeks, but that’s it! I think weaning naturally occurs earlier than 5 in the majority of cases. Those that feed longer? I say, good for them…if their child wants it, they may just need it, even if it’s just for comfort/reassurance/security. Go ALL breastfeeding mamas! 🙂
Thankyou for this!!!!
My daughter has gave birth to two beautiful daughters who she breastfeeds and I think it is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen and I believe you should whip it out anywhere you are and feed your child!! Those who dont like it are more then likely perverts anyways and dont see it as a gift from God. just sayin………
I breastfed all four of my children and am a strong advocate of it and yet, I’m still offended at nudity of any kind. As God created nakedness, he also admonished us to be modest! Breastfeeding is as natural as any other bodily function, yet we don’t uncover other private areas in public. Please do cover up and be modest, ladies, as doing otherwise will hurt the breastfeeding movement.
I’m sorry, but since I do not buy a whole new wardrobe in order to feed my babies I sometimes have to take my breast out the top of my shirt/dress in order to feed my baby. Whilst I don’t flash nipple at the world, occasionally people get to see some flesh. I think if you want to bring God into it, that’s a whole nother story. But personally I don’t think we’d have been given these breasts to feed our children if we were meant to hide to feed them. It seems utterly ridiculous to expect our children to eat with blankets over there heads…don’t you?
How about instead of attacking someone on your own side (advocate for breastfeeding), you commend them for giving their baby what is best. I realize this is about covering or not, but you don’t have to bash someone for choosing to be modest or respectful of some people who may be uncomfortable. I cover my baby with a cover to nurse in public because I do not want other people to see my boobs if they accidentally flash and it keeps her from being totally distracted when we are in a busy place. It’s a personaly thing. If you don’t want to cover, then don’t, just don’t show them to me because I don’t want to see them but I applaud what you are doing. If she does, more power to her.
Sorry if it appeared like I was attacking anyone…I wasn’t. I just do not think it is anyones place to tell me to cover up and be modest. You can feed however you choose, and I will feed however I choose, and that involves not hiding! I do think it must be quite claustrophobic for babies to feed under a cover, but if that’s how you want to do it, that’s fine! Well done for breastfeeding your babies!(that goes without saying really!)
I have been studying modesty lately, and I find it VERY interesting that the scriptures that speak of “nakedness” refer to showing the loins and thigh areas, not the breasts. Check out Isaiah. I am a complete advocate for modesty–and in our country and in our time, the breasts are very sexual, when they used to be only looked at what they were created for–nourishing babies. In other countries, you might get a peek of flesh or nipple or maybe an entire breast uncovered–but I bet the only ones looking on in lust or disgust are tourists from our country.
Melissa,
I agree that it’s a cultural thing. Nevertheless, being that breasts are a sexual part of women’s bodies (regardless of whether or not they should be), I feel strongly that they need to stay covered. I understand that not everybody agrees, but I do strongly believe that immodesty hurts and hinders women from being able to breastfeed in public…not just because I’m personally against it, but because of our culture sexualizing the breast. My *biggest concern is not whether or not a woman shows a little skin, but protecting our right to breastfeed our babies in public. The best way to do that is by being careful and showing you’re not a completely selfish person by being modest while nursing. Some can do this easily without any blanket covering your baby’s face, some may need to practice a bit at home in front of a mirror, but I think we can all agree that immodesty will only hinder our freedom to do what we all think is important here–and that’s feeding our babies the best way.
“For you will suckle and be satisfied at her comforting breasts; you will guzzle and drink deeply and delight in her overflowing abundance …” love the graphic descriptions in the Bible. Countries that have not been utterly pornified, and egalitarian countries that are less patriarchal and less misogynistic, do uphold women’s rights and women’s functions better. I have been blessed to witness totally unself-conscious bare-breast feeding in many countries.
By cover up, it does not mean with a blanket necessarily. One can be discreet and not cover up with a blanket. My babies would pull the blanket off anyway. And correct, if by chance some breast is shown and the person is shown the door, then they will have to tell me what they are doing related to all the women barely covering their breasts and calling it in style or whatever. I am so sick of those “in style” women showing their breasts especially to my husband and sons who have to try not to look.
If I ever see a breastfeeding mom being shown the door, I will leave as well and tell the management why and tell everyone in the place why. Women who breastfeed their babies should be told what a wonderful job they are doing by sacrificing to do the best for their babies (though I always felt it was really easier to breastfeed than haul bottles and formula around).
God bless all of the wonderful breastfeeding mamas out there!!
(And so sorry to all of those who were not able to especially if they were sabatoged. Find good support if you have another chance!)
well said, i was in a known resturant 3 days after my daughter was born when she needed fed i couldnt have been any more descrete when a customer asked the manager for me to leave as he found it offensive to whick he was told to turn his chair back round the way it should have been facing at his own table or pay and leave as he was that far over our table you would have thought he was with us. The management then came over to appologise. We can wait to be fed a baby cant
God created us naked (not with colthes on), & gave us the ability & resposibility to feed our babies. If you pay attention to Genisis 3:6-8 we were unaware of our nakedness until sin nature entered the world. Verse 7 states, “and the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked.” It is man who perverts the naked body.
Most often, while in public, I don’t cover up. Not because I’m super, gung ho breastfeeding advocate, but because I find that when I do cover up, it draws more attention to what I’m doing. When I don’t worry about it, & just feed my babies people usually just think I’m rocking them or putting them to sleep. It’s not like mardi gras. I’m not flashing boobies; I’m nursing my child!
Yea, we don’t uncover other private areas in public because they’re not used for feeding a child. God made our bodies and our breasts so we can feed and nourish our children. Media and today’s society made the blankets for which we’re expected to place over our childrens heads when they’re hungry.
Thank you Molly!!! finally someone has written what i have been screaming in my head all these years when i hear religious people talking about modesty and bringing GOD into everything. Especially breast feeding in public. If you want to bring god into, please ready your own bible well before telling everyone that god would not want you to expose your breast and naked body in public. “modesty” is a man-made concept, not a god – made one. Remember that Adam and Eve got kicked out of the Garden of Eden when they hid from God because they were ashamed to be naked in front of him?!!! God asked them why they were hiding and they replied because they were naked. Sorry, guys but god created our bodies and set us on this earth naked. I’m sure he has other things to do then worry about who is exposing who’s body and who is breast feeding out in public for the world to see. It’s YOU who has the problem, and I’m sorry, but if you haven’t notice it by now, or if someone hasn’t told you, then i’ll say it for you, “The world does not revolve around you! People do not need to make YOU feel comfortable when breast feeding their child. If you do not like it, look the other way, or leave. If you as a mother choose to cover your feeding child, that is your choice, if you do not want to cover up, that is your choice as well. It is not my right to say to you, you that you should cover up or not. If it makes me uncomfortable being next to a woman breast feeding (it doesn’t but where throwing in an example) then i’ll just bear with it and look the other way. That mother and child were not placed on this earth to appease me.” Just stop worrying about how other woman are feeding their child in public and worry about your self.
Yay for breastfeeding! Thanks for posting this – I love it!
I don’t think there is anything wrong with a mother breastfeeding her baby in a public place, as long as it’s done discreetly (as in not showing the entire boob to the world). The baby is getting the best food in the world, and breastfeeding should be encouraged. And, most importantly, the mother needs to keep enough of the breast tissue away from the baby’s nose so it can breathe!
Yes, all hide!!! Do you know that when a baby cries for food, he/she needs food NOW! There is not always time to find somewhere to hide…and why on earth should you hide? Do you eat discreetly???
I don’t think that is what Melanie is saying. I think what she means when she says “discreetly” is what most women who breastfeed in public do. Most women who breastfeed in public lift their shirt up enough to give the baby access to the boob, rather than pulling their shirt all the way up to expose the entire breast. I think that is what Melanie means. I don’t think she means for women to hide or always cover up.
A long time ago, I was breastfeeding in the back row of the church, using a light flannel baby blanket just to be discreet, I also felt that it was a cozy thing for my baby. Way across the room, I thought two teenage boys (one was the pastor’s son) were giggling about it. Sure enough, after that, they made a special room for nursing mothers. However, maybe it wasn’t about me at all. Those were the hippie days, and another mother in our church always wore granny dresses with the peasant top and just let her breast hang out in church to breastfeed with total innocense. I’m sure those boys got over it just fine!
I daresay the boys were only giggling because it is so rare for them to see this! Rather sad really! If it was normal(which it is!), they would not even look twice! My babies did not like anything over their head…even a light muslin square. x
13Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. 15For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. 16 So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.
Romans 14:14-19
Breastfeeding is great, but is it always helpful to a Christian brother or sister to do so without modesty?
Not everyone is Christian, not everyone believes in a religion. I think to say that a woman breastfeeding her baby in public is offensive to your religion is offensive to that person’s freedom. If you don’t like it DON’T LOOK, period! I think if we were really worried about modesty we would be more worried about clothes that are worn in public rather than woman feeding their hungry children
Oops sorry meant to hit thumbs up. Totally agree!
It’s about common courtesy here…the US is filled with different people with different views. If something you’re doing causes someone else to have difficulty and you can easily remedy that while still doing what you feel is important, why would you not do such a small thing as cover up?
For the Christians who urge “modesty”: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/2185823/Vatican-approves-breast-feeding-pictures-of-Virgin-Mary.html
http://www.flickr.com/photos/17922911@N00/3074744382/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1028888/Vatican-plea-uncover-Virgin-Mary-breast-feeding-baby-Jesus.html
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/breastfeeding-baby-jesus.html
Care to try a rebuttal?
Karen~ because it’s not always an easy remedy. Have you ever dealt with a screaming baby in public? One who wants food now and is fighting with you over the stupid cover. As your temperature rises, so does the volume of the baby’s pleas. Not to mention all of the people staring at you, hoping that you are going to quiet them down ASAP. I am extremely modest but sometimes it’s just too difficult to “do such a small thing as cover up”
Jordan! This dreadful! Do you realise you are distorting the word of God and using it to actually justify totally carnal and misogynistic attitudes in society? Do you realise you just used the Bible to justify sexual perversion caused by the pornification of society which has its root in the misogynistic hatred of women? Even in the verse you quoted, notice how your translation reads, “in the way of a brother” instead of “in the way of a brother or sister” or “in the way of another believer” like inclusive language editions do – have you not ever questioned the sexism of that? How in the world can breastfeeding BE done “without modesty”. Er, perhaps if I wore a G-string and thigh-high black 7 inch heeled boots …. and then flipped out a boob? Come on! As Christians we should be setting the example in compassion, common sense, egalitarianism and standing against misogyny, porn and all injustice. Breastfeeding DOES make for peace and mutual upbuilding and it is the duty of every Christian woman and man to support breastfeeding, public breastfeeding, full-term and long-term breastfeeding, and the de-sexualising of vaginal birth and breastfeeding. I have spoken with Christian women in the USA who have lost so much ownership over their own bodies that they find it hard to SAY ‘vagina’ and they think touching themselves there – (let alone palpating their own cervix in labour, or doing vaginal and perineal message pre-natally) – is “icky”. That is a tragedy, and it is the result of misogyny in society – they start to regard even their own lovely womanly bodies as ‘disgusting’ and they accept the contempt upon themselves. This is from HELL. No WAY should any woman struggle to cover herself and her baby because of the misapplication of this verse. When a woman’s shirt is up, or open, and part of her breast shows, the baby’s mouth covers her nipple (or you might see a bit of it when a curious older baby looks around for a minute, like mine does) but you must realise: breastfeeding *is* discreet. It is not immodest.
They are only boobs, big deal…soooo…if you don’t want to see them…don’t look!!!
AMEN BROTHER AMEN
I have to say I find all the scripture and Jesus talk being thrown around quite hilarious. I grew up in the exclusive brethren and after 18 years of being subjected to fearmongering and words without any real meaning, I am no longer Christian at all. That is not to say you are all fearmongers! 🙂 (Sorry, this is not meant to offend, just an observation of how these comments have brought me back to my youth…days that made absolutely no sense to me!)
Too many well meaning Christians are a part of the problem. The perv who is lusting by watching a mama BFing is the problem, not a little (or lot) flash of breast being used as God intended. Don’t imprison or banish the mother when the perv is the one who should be reprimanded. To many pastors reprimand nursing moms for nursing in service and let their eyes linger on the women who come in short, tight, low cut, outfits that are obviously meant to attract sexual attention without a reprimand or disapproving look.
I’ve seen to many examples of this inequality with ‘modesty’.
Ok I’m not saying that bfing is immodest, it isn’t but if these pastors consider it so but ignore ‘other’ immodesty it is hypocritical.
I’m not making since I’ll shut up now.
Just for the record, I’m a very well-meaning Christian woman who breastfed her child for five months, and I think this is absolutely the best, most effective support for breastfeeding in public I’ve ever seen.
A breastfeeding woman is natural. She is using her breasts for their intended purpose. There’s nothing immodest about breastfeeding in public. There is nothing NOT immodest about the above magazine advertisements.
Also, I have never heard a pastor reprimand any woman for feeding during service, and many churches now have breastfeeding lounges in which mothers can feed their children while the service streams live on televisions in the room.
You need to know that not all Christians are closed-minded hypocrites, but we DO all make mistakes. That doesn’t excuse them (and certainly not any pastor who stares at or lusts after any woman in a low-cut or tight shirt), but it’s the truth.
I’m tired of Christians being branded as nothing but judgmental hypocrites. There are so many more of us out there who are tolerant, loving, and very open people. Please don’t just write us all off because of the mistakes of a few.
The feeding lounges are usually for the comfort of the mother rather than anyone perving! Pews are not the most comfortable chairs for feeding. It is often helpful too because babies can sometimes get distracted when too many people are around. I am a Christian who fed my babies in private and public spaces and very often in church (better a breast feeding baby than one screaming in terms of distraction for all around!). Only VERY rarely did anyone have a problem with it. That was in 2 different countries and pretty well constantly for 14 years! I even fed my 4 year olds in public sometimes but generally found it easier to do that in a private space as they were rarely discreet coming off and chatting in between feeding. Breastfeeding is a wonderful gift that God has given women, it is sad that because our world is no longer a perfect place (due to human rebellion) it is not always possible for women to enjoy or even do.
I was in a legalistic church where you had to go into the pastor’s study, sit in his huge executive chair, and turn your back on the other mothers using the office as a cry-room, in order to breastfeed! I wanted to face all the women and chat while I BF, but the Hong Kong Chinese mothers told me off and forced me to turn about! That was the last time I went to the stupid office to breastfeed. After that I just stayed in my seat in the main auditorium. No one ever noticed I was BF. Now I am in a church where I sit on the ground leaning comfortably against the wall, bubby happily guzzling way, no cover, in the main service … and a woman comes up and says, “OH that’s just so beautiful. I really envy you! I miss breastfeeding!” And that is the way it should be. Every Christian should be aware that the attack on women and the feminine evident in the porn industry, sex trafficking, female infanticide, FGM, parts of the fashion industry, the medicalisation of childbirth that is stamping out midwifery options for women and resulting in more and more intervention, rising c/s rates, rising maternal death rates as a result (the c/s rate in Asia is now 60% and rising; it’s 80% in Brazil) and the subsequent falling of breastfeeding rates is something we need to stand up against. The feminine must be protected and that means revolution against the pornification of society, and committing radical acts of resistance like breastfeeding as if it normal. And hiring a midwife and having a vaginal birth as if it is normal. Watch and see – these normal, healthy “as God intended” acts will increasingly be considered radical. Like not shaving your pubic hair. Or your legs and under arms for that matter. Or not carving off your labia. Or not consenting to pelvic exams. Or not giving birth on a bed (gasp!). Or voting with your feet all the way out of the hospital system and having a homebirth. And co-sleeping with your baby. And not doing “baby-training”. And breastfeeding that wee bub for as many years as s/he wants to. When society has such obsessive aversion to these things, question it, question it. Use your discernment – what is going on here? Occupy Obstetric, women! Occupy Breastfeeding! Don’t let corporatised baby-formula and corporatised obstetrics to call the shots and own your body – any more than you would let porn own it.
My other issue with covering up too much is if a first time mum has perhaps never actually seen another woman breastfeed, is she going to feel comfortable doing it? Is she instead going to choose formula? Is she going to despair as her blanket keeps slipping off her shoulder and she can’t possibly see what she’s doing/learn to breastfeed and be discreet at the same time. Breastfeeding is not a big deal, it is normal! Let’s make it so!!!!! Boobs are for feeding our babies! If we decide to hide them because of perverts, then surely we should also be hiding our feet in case there’s someone with a foot fetish about?
naturesmother you hit the nail right on the head!!!! I am 55 and breastfed both of my children well over a year. I was just not coordinated enough to keep a blanket on whilst my baby was trying to eat and pull it off. The last place I would ever nurse would be a public bathroom. And, no, there are not chairs and special places in most public bathrooms. My daughter now has babies. Her first is a special needs child, but she pumped enough to breastfeed him exclusively until he was over a year old. With her second, she is experiencing the true joy of breastfeeding. She did make herself a cover for when she is ‘out in public’ (not at someone’s house). I didn’t encourage that, and she will find out soon enough as her little sweetie gets older that they really do not like to be covered up!!!!
I know it was difficult, with a newborn, to get them to latch just right when I wore a shawl. the breastfeeding bibs with the wire that goes out at the neck is helpful because you can look down and see the baby and it lifts the cloth away from her face. after my sons were old enough to latch easily I preferred my shawls though. they were made from very light material and covered my back as well, so i didn’t feel awkward and my kids were comfortable and cool.
Once when I was breastfeeding my first child, discreetly I add. A man from across the restaurant said “There is a bathroom, you could go in there and do that!” My response “Well, when the waitress comes back I’ll have her leave your dinner in there for ya!” Everyone needs to stop all this crazy!!! These things were put on a womans body to feed her children! Not flash the world with…ie..Rolling Stone, Elle, Sports Illustrated, etc. but that is okay because it’s ART?! Embrace the beauty of our bodies, the reason we are made this way and be proud!
DO NOT let others change your mind or dictate our god given right to breastfeed!!! Any damn place our hungry children want is ok with me!!! I guess we could just let them starve!!!!
I’m a first time mom to be in May and I plan to breast feed! Though modesty is important to me And I was excited to see that they now have breast feeding covers that have a loop that goes over your head to hold it at your collar bone area but its not a heavy blanket, just helps hide the boobage in public 🙂
Good luck with your baby Rachel. Just remember that if/when your baby no longer likes the cover, it is not offensive to feed without it…you can still be discreet! Enjoy your special bond! x
Congratulations Rachel! Enjoy the many blessings you have coming your way. I wanted to give you some support and encouragement. I used a nursing cover like that everytime I nursed in public & I had a great experience with it & will gladly use it again with my next baby.
We are a very active family so after we had our first son, we kept up with our engagements and I just naturally nursed my son no matter where we were when he gave me the signs that he was hungry. I am a very private person and because of our society and the above images, I did not want another man looking at me in an inappropriate way while I was nourishing my son so I chose to cover. Nobody is making me use a cover – it is my personal choice…just as others choose their way to nurse without it. I am a Christian woman that is open-minded & I realize that there is no right or wrong way to nurse in public – it depends on each person and their desires of the heart. I wish that everyone, regardless of religion or gender could have that type of mindset so that the breast-feeding moms that want to nurse without a cover wouldn’t have to stress out about it so much.
If I did it without a cover, I’d be stressed out and my son would not have a good feeding experience. So I urge you to do whatever is best for you which will inevitably give your newborn a great experience! The cover did not bother my son at all because he was used to it since we were always on the go from the beginning. I did cherish my time alone in our home when I could lay down and relax with him while I nursed so I feel like our bond was not hindered because I chose to nurse in public with a cover.
Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy & your delivery!
Thanks for this post, so very true. I’ve now breastfed both of my girls. With my first I felt kind of embarrassed and always tried to cover up, though I struggled with the awkwardness of actually figuring out the right way of nursing because I was too worried about shielding the Tatas. I ended up staying home for weeks and weeks to figure it out and practice even at home with the cover up so I could eventually nurse in public which I did. I could see how some of my friends gave up because of the inconvenience and the negative context of breastfeeding in public. I got pretty good at it until she was about 9 months and getting pretty big and I’d get looks and comments like, isn’t that child too old to be breastfeeding? And also she would HATE the cover up and try to rip it off. I just stopped feeding in public and only did it in private. So sad! My 2nd daughter HATED the cover from the beginning. So I layer my clothing so it’s discreet, but people definitely know what I’m doing. People get sooo offended by it. I don’t understand why they feel everything needs to be censored around them. Don’t they know that staring at people is offensive? Why are they even looking at me? If public places are not going to provide a suitable and comfortable place for a woman to freely breastfeed, then the boobs are coming out whether they like it or not. No one tells women at restaurants with cleavage to cover up. I think if young boys see the right function of what breasts are for, comforting and nourishing our children, and their parents explained… maybe they would grow up to actually respect a woman’s body for the reason it was created rather than a perverted lustful way.
Nature’s Mother, I LOVE this post and would like to repost on my blog and credit you. It really hit the nail on the head. When I first had my baby I went thru a horrible depression period because no one around me ever breastfed and I felt uncomfortable doing it in public uncovered. My baby hated the blanket from day one and would kick and scream. I now refuse to stay home or leave to feed him. I still don’t usually expose my entire breast but skin is still flashed and I’m almost at the point of just whipping it out to make a statement: that’s what boobs are for, get over it! And for those who brought God into this, He made our breasts for the purpose of feeding our children, why are we allowing others to pervert the real purpose of breasts by making this about modesty? If you were to look at ancient pictures, you would see that even in the days where it was considered indecent for women to show their arms or ankles, they didn’t cover up their breasts when feeding their babies in public.
Please repost – you’re welcome to link to my blog but bear in mind I’m not the original author. Let’s get this out there though, it’s good stuff!!! xxx
Thank you. I will be re-posting soon at http://www.diaryofanaturalmom.blogspot.com. Do you know who the original author is? If not, i will post as author unknown and link back to you.
No, as it says at the beginning of the post ‘original author unknown’ Sorry. But please repost! xxx
Hey ladies! I had my first 30 years ago! I cannot believe that this issue still goes on after this long of time. It didn’t take near that time to push God out of our school systems. There is nothing disgusting about a baby feeding off its Mother. Its as natural as the vagina from which they were born. It is society & all its leaders exploiting a God gifted human process into disgusting sexual & offensive NO NO! It is all about lustful eye candy for the greedy possessive persons who don’t know or somehow confused the natural processes for human gain which leads us right into the grip of the almighty dollar, self glorified fame & the clutches of evil.
Great for those who want to breast feed. But like anything else everyone has THERE OWN thoughts and comforts, so do whayt feels right for you and your child and all will be good 🙂 .
Obviously what is right for your child is what nature intended, something that prevents disease and boosts the immune system, and not something man made in a factory using milk from another mammal altogether (or soy beans).
why are you not able to accept that everyone may not agree with you? What is best for you and your family is to breastfeed but that does not mean that it is that way for everyone, the previous poster did not say anything negative about breastfeeding and yet you still feel the need to point out that breastfeeding is best. That is why alot of women feel guilty for not being able to breastfeed or for choosing formula. You will not get any closer to having breastfeeding more accepted in public if you continue to push your beliefs on others.
Up til this comment I have agreed that breastfeeding is best and should NOT be covered if that’s what you choose. But this comment is ridiculous. Not everyone has the opportunity to breastfeed. I have 2 daughters, the first one was born via emergency c-section 5 days before Hurricane Katrina hit (we live in Baton Rouge), and neither one of us wanted anything to do with it (especially since I was still in pain). It was 100+ degrees outside and we were both hot and sticky since we were without power for a LONG time. Yes I pumped but being dehydrated due to the lack of clean water, it wasn’t very successful. My 2nd daughter was also born via c-section and after losing a third of my blood due to 2 busted capillary veins in my incision, I was on 4mg Dilaudid and was forced to choose between immobilizing pain or breastfeeding. While you might say the pain would be worth having a healthy baby, I say she needed me to be able to function properly more. They’re both perfectly healthy, intelligent, and adorable 😉
So what was ‘right’ for my children wasn’t breastfeeding and it’s wrong of you to say what’s right for anyone but yourself and your own children.
Just an fyi for you – I was unable to breastfeed my firstborn due to a severe issue with my milk supply. So what was best for my son was to drink formula, made in a factory using milk from another mammal.
Also, I know people who are so lactose intolerant that in infancy, they would become violently ill if their mother breastfed them. Are you trying to say that breast milk is still better for them than a man-made soy-based formula??
Mind you, I am not trying in any way to say that I am against breastfeeding – if I could have, I would have breastfed my son as long as necessary, and I hope that I will be able to do so with future children, and I hope that every mother gets the correct information and chooses to breastfeed – as long as that is, in fact, what is right for their child. All I ask, is that you understand that the use of formula is not always a mother’s first choice, and refrain from judging it in the future.
I don’t know about you, but when my choices are between letting my son starve due to my body’s inability to provide the nourishment he needs, or giving him something that came from a factory, I won’t hesitate to make the RIGHT decision…
Well, actually, for the baby whose mom *really* doesn’t make enough milk (which is rather unuseal, mostly due to lack of or downright wrong counselling, then man-made substitutes are not best for the bay. First choice for human babies is human milk, if not from his own mom, then from another human mom. As for lactose intolerance, it is really extremely rare for an infant to be truly lactose intolerant (either because of congenital lactase deficiency or of galactosemia, both very rare conditions), but if, so, then, yes a man-made substitute without lactose would be the only option.
Sorry ladies, I didn’t mean to offend those who have had no choice in the matter. Please do not take this personally, it is not intended that way. Peace 🙂
yay breast feeding moms!!!!! don’t stop what u are doing if somebody has a problem with u feeding ur child they can sure NOT LOOK DUMB ASSES! its a part of life and its a lovely thing!!!!
You people are ignorant, and sad. To be this prudish in this day & age is offensive in it’s self If you are offended, why don’t you just stay locked up in your house with your small mind, and leave the human race. Your sick.
umm…hello? What are you talking about?
Who cares! People do what they do. Mind ur own business n keep it movin…
I breastfed all four of my children. Occasionally sitting at the back of a store, on the floor because there was no other place that was private. (big mall with a long walk to the car and a screaming baby!) I was modest and thoughtful of my own privacy but very willing to take care of my child no matter where I was. My oldest is now 26 and his wife is breastfeeding the newest grandson with full support from the entire family. That son spent 2 years in Guatemala in a religious capacity when he was 19 years old. He made the comment that he had never seen so many boobs in his life! As a young man, he learned quickly that breastfeeding was normal, natural, and not sexual whatsoever. Our country has turned a God given right into something wrong. It’s necessary to stand up for our rights. Breastfeed respectfully, but do what you need to do to care for these precious little ones. If someone is offended….let them take it up with God. (we know who’s side He is on)
Well said. We have a lot to learn from other cultures! x
“You should breastfeed in the bathroom”.. Would you like to eat YOUR food in the bathroom? I didn’t think so. If my newborn is hungry, I’m not going to move myself to another location, I WILL feed my child right here. People who think breastfeeding in public is bad & indecent should shut their mouths & get over it. It’s not like I am in your face with my breasts exposed, no. I am doing what is natural & if it offends you, you can leave.
I don’t think the point they were trying to make is wether or not to be modest while breast feeding, or even if it is right or wrong. The point is, people make such a big fuss if a woman is breast feeding in public, as if using her breasts to nourish a baby is immodest, innappropriate, and not socialy acceptable. But when society uses breasts to advertise movies, and cd’s, its totally fine. People encourage it , infact. I think the problem is that people are so used to breasts being used as an object of lust, when they see them being used for what God intended, they get uncomfortable. My opinion, if YOU get to eat in public, so does my sweet little girl. If that means you get a glimpse of the wonderful bonding and natural nourishment, I am OK with that.
yeah yeah! Well said! x
The association being drawn in this post is one of images of breastfeeding mothers to images of scantily clad women. The premise is, if one is okay, then the other is too.
That’s fine, but one set of images is created for the express purpose of exciting the viewer. So the question that would naturally follow, is it alright to be excited by the other images as well?
Do you have the right to breastfeed your baby in public? I imagine that depends on the community you live in, as our legal rights are granted by the society we collectively create.
Do you have some kind of intrinsic right to breastfeed in public? I don’t know, but if you choose to, then what obligations are you placing on those in your presence? If you choose to breastfeed in a park, is it alright for people to stop and watch you? Is it alright for teenage boys to giggle and point? Is it alright for creepy men to leer at you and lick their lips? They have the right to their own choice of behavior too. Them making you uncomfortable is no more or less valid than your breastfeeding making them uncomfortable.
Because what we’re really talking about is comfort. I don’t see anyone trying to stop women from breastfeeding altogether, but there are those who feel uncomfortable when breastfeeding is being done in certain environments. Whereas women may find it inconvenient to relocate for the sake of breastfeeding, and so would be more comfortable to simply feed their children wherever they happen to be.
The idea that breastfeeding in the presence of others is innately wrong or offensive is to misuse those terms. The offensiveness of something is subjective to the person observing it. What is completely benign to some may be the peak of disgust for others.
With that understanding, there is nothing more innately wrong or offensive about someone politely asking a nursing mother to cover up, or turn away from them. Both parties are equally capable of being considerate of each other’s comfort.
If a woman wished to breastfeed in my presence I would have no issue with it. I do however take issue with the idea that I must watch, approve, and have no opinion whatsoever of her supreme righteousness in the situation.
I guess my point in this long message is that while I feel breastfeeding is a good thing, my wife and I chose that for both our children. And I understand the unreasonable nature of the expectation that women should lock themselves away and schedule their lives in such a way that they are always at home, or jammed in a bathroom stall to feed their children. But I also believe in being considerate to other people. That includes both the mothers who nurse, and the people around them who have no obligation to them or their children.
I believe with a little compassion we can accomplish both. But self righteous indignation toward those who are simply looking for their own comfort hurts our cause more than it helps.
whoa, sorry this is a bit much for my brain this monday morning. 🙂
What are you referring to when you say ‘But self righteous indignation toward those who are simply looking for their own comfort hurts our cause more than it helps.’?
I do not think anyone is asking you to watch them breastfeed. I think it is quite the opposite…if you don’t like it, don’t look. But don’t make an issue of it either because when baby is hungry, baby needs to feed. If you have children of your own, then you know that a baby doesn’t wait for food. There is no reasoning…’just wait till we’re somewhere more private’ or ‘oh dear, I forgot my cover, you can’t eat’. Babies have immediate needs, and we are here to meet them.
Yes, we are shaped by society around us, but I think our collective goal is to make breastfeeding normal. Then the teenagers won’t point and giggle. The pervs won’t perv. If they saw every woman with a child breastfeeding, it’d just become ordinary. While they’re learning that it is normal, we can expect these reactions, and personally I don’t mind them. I think it is helpful for the teenager to see that boobs are for feeding babies, and I think it is helpful to the perv to realise that boobs are just ordinary body parts performing a natural and wonderful function.
In many other cultures, nobody looks twice at a breastfeeding woman, strangers will come up and kiss baby while baby is on your breast, if baby comes off and milk squirts on their face, they’ll wipe it off and laugh. NO BIG DEAL. You may be cringing and thinking ‘how gross’, hopefully one day we’ll all smile and think ‘how wonderful’.
Using breasts as nature intended is certainly my goal and I’m sure the goal of many others. I don’t think this is self righteous indignation. Is it?
And do we have an ‘intrinsic right to breastfeed in public’? Well do you have an intrinsic right to eat in public? And your needs are not as immediate as a newborns, so I think the answer to your questions would definitely be yes!!!
What I mean by self righteous indignation toward those simply looking for their own comfort is well reflected in some of the comments on this page.
It’s the, “I’ll feed my baby wherever I damn well please, I deny you the respect you request of me, but I demand you respect me and my child.”
It’s a double standard that’s very very common, and definitely not exclusive to the breastfeeding issue.
Baby doesn’t wait, baby doesn’t understand that it’s not convenient. But mother does, mother is an adult (hopefully) and has the capacity to evaluate the situation and make choices. Yes, the child will cry, and yes, people may have to tolerate a crying child, that is something that cannot be helped. The choice of when, where, and how to feed the hungry child can be helped.
Look, I’m on the side of the nursing mother here. I’m on the side of the child. I want the child to be fed. I want the mother to be comfortable, I want the child to be comfortable, and I want social understanding of the value of breastfeeding to increase. But some of the attitudes being expressed here are the very thing that derail most movements. In part, because they are off-putting, in a in part, because they are simply irrelevant, or wrong. I’ll illustrate what I mean.
“Breastfeeding should be allowed to be done anywhere because it’s ‘natural'”.
Yes, it is. So is going to the bathroom, so is having sex. But when we feel inclined to do these things, we are expected, in this society, to do them in an appropriate place. Don’t think that’s a fair comparison? What if it’s an emergency? What if you have diarrhea? Would you just pull down your pants and go? That stuff doesn’t wait long. Or would you look to find the best available option within the bounds of propriety?
What I would hope to see, is people being more accommodating. If I run into a store, and ask to use the bathroom for an emergency, most of the time, I will be allowed to use the facilities, even if I’m not a customer. Wouldn’t it be great if a mother with a child could also address her child’s needs to people around her with confidence that she would be helped?
I am aware of the difference between feeding a child and emptying one’s bowels. But you are also aware the both of these things classify as “natural”. So let’s just take the “it’s natural so I get to do it wherever I want” demand off the table.
“In other cultures it’s fine, and totally out in public so it should be fine here.”
This is not only irrelevant, it’s dangerous. In other cultures women are forced upon threat of beatings to cover their bodies entirely. The cultural rolled of women vary greatly from civilization to civilization. I dare say the inclination of some to prefer a woman be discreet when feeding a child is a small price to pay for the rights, and privileges women enjoy in the US.
Other people doing something is never a good argument for why anyone else should do it.
The arguments I’ve put in quotes and attempted to break down are not direct quotes from anyone here, and that’s on purpose. I’m not trying to pick a fight. On the contrary, I’m trying to talk people out of picking fights!
It’s my experience that when one expresses consideration for another’s feelings, levels of tolerance increase exponentially. A person who might have mumbled and scowled at a woman who chooses to immodestly breastfeed in front of them may encourage her and even feel a desire to be protective of a woman who politely asks if he minds if she feeds her baby. She’s not asking his permission, she’s being considerate of his feelings.
Have you ever been at a meal, and there’s only one more cookie on the plate, and someone takes the cookie and you almost feel like it was rude of them to take the last one, what if someone else had wanted it? But when someone asks if anyone minds if they take the last cookie, more often than not everyone encourages them, even if they themselves might have also wanted it. It’s the same thing. We’re often willing to overcome what we many want in favor of appreciating that someone cared what how we felt.
This has gotten long, so I suppose I should sum up.
I think women should be able to breastfeed in public. Not only that, I think we should be looking out for our nursing mothers. Not because we have to, not because we’re supposed to, but because we want to. And I think our breastfeeding mothers should be looking out for those around them, doing what they should be doing, feeding their children.
Can it just be as simple as:
I want to uphold you and your child, so I will do what I am able to facilitate you taking care of them.
You want to uphold me and my family, so you will do what you can to facilitate me taking care of them.
Sometimes that might mean me choosing a different part of the park to walk in if I am not in the mood to watch you breastfeeding.
Sometimes that might mean you turn away from my table while my family is eating so we don’t have to end our meal if we would prefer not to watch.
Michael has hit the nail on the head here (especially the second one) – by far the most articulate and level-headed response to hard-nosed advocates on both sides of the fence. I wish I could have said it as well as you have.
Naturesmother – I’m hoping for a response to Michael’s second post. I think he shows the need for respect and tolerance of both positions, don’t you?
Within all the long paragraphs and “wise words” Michael left us all a real glimpse into the intellectual and logical workings of his mind, a true gem. He compared breastfeeding to diarrhea. That is rich. While good for a solid chuckle, it just goes to show the level of just absolute ridiculousness we are dealing with here. Because two things are “natural” doesn’t mean they should be dealt with in the same manner. Actually, I can’t even reply to that. I’m just going to let that one be, because it say’s enough all by it’s lonesome. Breastfeeding and diarrhea, be aware ladies: THAT’S what you’re up against. I am currently breastfeeding my second child. With my first child I did stay home most of the time and scheduled my life around feedings. The second time rolled around and I knew things were going to be different because that doesn’t benefit anyone. We now live in Europe which takes more ‘what’s the big deal’ approach to the whole thing because let’s be honest, what IS the big deal? You are seriously telling me that me nursing my baby is going to ruin your family dinner, now why is that? Where does the problem truly lie here? Keep supporting one another and encouraging one another because you nursing your baby, however and wherever you feel comfortable, hurt’s no one and that is the bottom line.
Michael, you are a wise person and your comments are very logical. Thank you for taking issue with the real problems expressed in people’s attitudes and bringing to light what should be everyone’s main concerns.
Kudos.
Michael, wise words indeed, and I think it’s lovely that you want to keep the peace, but I think it is sometimes difficult for a mum with a screaming baby to make sure that all those around her have been asked if she may feed her child there. I also think it is somewhat unnecessary as her baby’s needs should come first, and it is a selfless act of offering food to her child, not a selfish act some appear to perceive it.
You seem to be slightly contradictory in that you say ‘I think a women should be able to breastfeed in public’ and ‘Sometimes that might mean you turn away from my table while my family is eating so we don’t have to end our meal if we would prefer not to watch.’ Should I ask you(and everyone at neighbouring tables), above my baby’s screaming, drawing attention to the fact that I’m about to breastfeed, rather than just get on with it and feed my hungry child? And then I need to turn away too? From whom, from all the tables? Oh dear, how am I going to do that? And all because my child needs food? Or should I just stay at home? Is early motherhood not hard enough without the stresses that I may not be pleasing everyone around me. The baby comes first, right?
I am not attacking anyone, this is just something I am passionate about. The more we hide, the more we cover, the less women breastfeed. And this is so sad! Babies need breastmilk. period.
Naturesmother,
I appreciate your passion, and admire your dedication to your chosen cause. There are people who care, there are people who have opinions, and there are people who want things to change. But it is more uncommon to find someone putting themselves out there in such a proactive way, thank you for your example in that regard.
Thus far I have made general comments, and not addressed anyone specifically. But since this is your blog, and you have been proactive in creating a dialogue, I will address some of your specific questions.
First as to your concerns regarding my example of a woman in a restaurant:
Yes, it is somewhat difficult. Fortunately for her, the crying of her child will likely gain her the attention of those in her immediate vicinity, making it easy for her to address anyone close by. Also, the sound of a crying child is generally not a pleasant thing for people to hear, so they are also likely to wish to cooperate in facilitating her putting an end to the noise.
Her baby’s needs should come first, to her. Not to the other diners. It’s not their baby. They had no part in it’s creation, and will likely experience little of it’s life.
And make no mistake. It is not a selfless act. The martyr card will not play here. The mother has chosen to breastfeed, the mother cares for the child, the mother wants to feed the child, the mother wishes the child to stop crying. The child is the first priority for the mother. Caring for the child’s needs is fulfilling and rewarding. It is an act of the most noble of selfish motives. I would hate to think that my mother only ever cared for me from a sense of obligation or charity. I am her treasure, she loves me with all her being. Mothers sacrifice for their children because they are a source of great joy.
There is no contradiction in adopting a particular modesty in regard to certain acts while in public. May I sneeze in public? Would you prefer I not sneeze in your face? Or in your direction? Would you prefer i cover my mouth? I’m still in public, and I’m mindful of how my choices are affecting others. The ability to do something in public does not mean doing so at the expense of those around us.
Back to the example of the mother in the restaurant. Is it really so difficult to use eye contact and non verbal language to indicate what you wish to do? Would it put you out so much to seek the understanding nod of your neighbors? And again, your baby comes first to you. My family enjoying a meal I’ve worked hard to provide for them comes first to me. My children may not be babies, but they are still more important to me than yours is, just as your baby is more important to you than my children. But as parents, we can have compassion for each other, and come to an understanding as to how all involved can be best served.
Yes, I agree the world needs a lot more compassion and I respect what you’re saying. I fear it may be harder than you think to get neighbours approval in a restaurant, especially since trying to communicate while you’re feeling stressed as to how people may respond makes this task 10 times difficult. And yes, I think non-verbal language can be incredibly difficult…what would I do, point to my breasts and shrug my shoulders? Maybe I’m just dumb.
I do wonder why me breastfeeding my baby would ruin your meal with my family. I find that slightly disturbing. Surely this would be preferable to screaming? Come on, use your compassion to make things easier and not harder than it already is for mums.
As for breastfeeding being selfish, well maybe it is for some and to a certain extent for me too. For me, I do it primarily because I know it is the healthiest for my baby and myself, and because I want to have the best bond possible with my child. However I do not think that breastfeeding in public is a selfish act??? My baby has an immediate need, I am her sole provider. That is not selfish…it is what it is…nourishment for a human being that depends on me. Surely?
Your comparison to diarrhea made me laugh. We’re talking about babies/toddlers here right? When my toddler was potty training, she said she needed a wee and we were nowhere near a loo (she had no nappy on) I hovered her over some grass at the park, and out popped a poo (imagine my embarrassment – thankfully I had a nappy sack at hand) So I think, in the case of children, their needs are much more immediate. If babies need food now, they need it now. If they need to poo, they need to poo. It is the way it is. That’s what I believe anyway. We may be able to hold it in to the next loo, but they have not developed that ability. Same with breastfeeding. 🙂
Let me give you an example of what I mean by compassion.
I do wonder why moving to an unoccupied area of the restaurant, facing a wall, or using a blanket to cover up would ruin your breastfeeding experience. I find that slightly disturbing. Surely this would be preferable to being ogled or looked down upon? Come on, use your compassion to make things easier and not harder than it already is for your fellow human beings.
That statement has just as much validity as this one.
I do wonder why me breastfeeding my baby would ruin your meal with my family. I find that slightly disturbing. Surely this would be preferable to screaming? Come on, use your compassion to make things easier and not harder than it already is for mums.
I’m feeling like I am coming to you with a notion of mutual respect and understanding. Looking for a two way street of tolerance. Tolerance for a mothers wish to care for her child without having to stay home to breastfeed. And tolerance for individuals who may prefer varying levels of modesty when breastfeeding in their presence.
But I keep hearing that all must bow to the all important wailing of a tiny infant whose needs must be meet immediately and in whatever way it sees fit. But it’s not seeing fit, the mother (again, hopefully an adult) is. And she is capable of making compassionate choices. If what you’re looking for is using a nursing infant as a get out of being civilized free card, then I’m in the wrong place.
If what you’re looking for is building a more compassionate understanding of the value of motherhood and the responsibilities that come with it. Building an increasing awareness of the value of breastfeeding, and opening doors to increasing tolerance for that activity across the board. Then I’m with you.
Freedom of speech must be applied across the board, or it is a fallacy, even when it forces us to tolerate the abomination that is the Westboro Baptist Church. Either I tolerate them speaking their minds, or I agree to hold my own tongue.
Compassion and consideration for the situation of others must likewise be applied across the board, or it is tyranny.
My premise is that people do what they want to do. Which begets the question, “How can we encourage people to WANT to support the mother who needs to breastfeed in a public place?” The only answer that follows for me is that we much enroll them, allow them to feel a part of the care of the infant. To see it as an opportunity rather than an inconvenience. But that is only possible if they feel they have a choice in the matter. And the only person who can give them the choice is the nursing mother.
If you came to me wanting to have a better relationship with your partner, I wouldn’t tell you all the things he should be doing to develop a stronger relationship. I’d tell you what YOU can do. The effects on your partner may or may not come about exactly as you would like, but there would be a chance. If our intent is to beat your partner into submission by claiming higher authority, obligating, or guilting them, even if it worked for a time, it would breed resentment, and eventually self destruct. You’d never have had what you wanted, you’d only have had something that looked like what you wanted.
I’ll leave you to your blog, you’ve been a very gracious hostess, I sincerely appreciate your efforts, as well as the time you’ve taken to respond to my thoughts, it’s helped me gather them more clearly for myself. I hope our conversation has been enjoyable for you as well.
Best of luck in your crusade! Next time I see a woman breastfeeding I’ll smile to myself and think of you.
Michael,
Let’s just say that the only table left in the restaurant is one right in the middle. There is no wall. My baby is crying for milk. She hates/refuses to have anything over her head while she’s feeding. I’m a first time mum, on my first trip to the mall. I’m still learning to breastfeed comfortably. I have people glaring at me because my baby is now screaming. I have a knot in my stomach because I know what I have to do, but I’m so nervous I’m going to be judged for doing it. I am also nervous because motherhood is new to me. Should I go to the filthy toilet with my newborn? Will somebody take the table in the meantime? Oh and I need some extra hands to take my pram/bag, etc with. Oh, and will there be space in the loo’s for these? NO, of course I need to sit down, try to calm myself and ignore the looks and feed my baby as discreetly as possible. This is not selfish. This is not disturbing. If you think it is, I seriously suggest you seek help. And no, it is not easy to ask those around you if they’re ok with you breastfeeding. (have you actually ever had to do this??) And what if they say no?
“But I keep hearing that all must bow to the all important wailing of a tiny infant whose needs must be meet immediately and in whatever way it sees fit. But it’s not seeing fit, the mother (again, hopefully an adult) is. And she is capable of making compassionate choices.” I find this comment offensive and ignorant to be honest. The most compassionate choice is, obviously, to feed our child who has no other way of communicating than crying. I don’t think anyone is ‘looking for is using a nursing infant as a get out of being civilized free card’ We are simply looking to feed our child, and yes it is important to us – and to you since you will be enduring the screaming too – to meet our babies needs immediately. It is our instinct. Do you know that when my babies cry, my breasts start leaking. It is not something I plan. It happens to a lot of women, and it is a natural/hormonal response. And yes, having been there myself, I think every new mother should be given the opportunity to respond to her baby immediately. I have no idea how you think you can critisize this. Not only is this recommended by the World Health Organization (feeding on cue), but as a mother it simply is the only right thing to do. Are you a mother? I don’t think you could have felt these extreme immediate demands personally, or else we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.
I don’t understand the mention of Westboro Baptist church. I am in the UK, and I’m not Christian.
I do like your question “How can we encourage people to WANT to support the mother who needs to breastfeed in a public place?”
“The only answer that follows for me is that we much enroll them, allow them to feel a part of the care of the infant. To see it as an opportunity rather than an inconvenience. But that is only possible if they feel they have a choice in the matter. And the only person who can give them the choice is the nursing mother.”
So how do we do that if we are not feeding in front of them? Or having to plead for people not to judge us and to allow us permission to do something we have to do anyway. If you don’t like it, look away. Why is it just dandy and cute to see a baby having a bottle, but having milk the way nature intended may upset your family and disturb your meal? Isn’t the human race weird and twisted.
Sorry if this lacks compassion, I just don’t see how you can call some of your reasoning compassionate, respectful and understanding.
You seem to be the most intelligent mind on this page, Michael. (No sarcasm.) I’d like to have your virtual babies.
Very well said and all are valid points, coming from someone who breastfed twins.
I think you’re whole post is absolutely ridiculous. The arguments used just don’t work.
I could say that I am offended when people eat food from round plates. Does that mean that when I’m at a restaurant and that specific dish is served to a neighboring table on a round plate that I have a right to be offended and ask that they cover it or change the plate? Come on. That’s basically what you’re saying.
I personally feel that if a woman is breastfeeding and there is some boobage on display then those who are uncomfortable should simply look away. What is with this fascination? Why do you have to stare or gawk? It’s impolite of you to do that. Feeding a baby is a necessity of life, not a choice. That should be taken into consideration.
The idea of covering, even a light covering, when you live in a hot climate just seems counter-intuitive. Why make a baby sweat more and overheat just to hydrate and nourish. Seems like you’d be forcing yourself to have to feed more to make up for the extra water lost from sweating under that covering.
People really just need to grow up and get educated. It’s not like we’re talking about masturbating in public.
I personally didn’t breastfeed when my boys when they were babies..but that was my choice. My thought on breastfeeding in public is just to be discreet. First off breastfeeding is as natural as the breast itself..but most women don’t walk around or sit with one breast hanging out as a norm. So when your beautiful child is feeding..I don’t feel your breast should be hung out for the world to see. I’m also not saying to smother your child under a blanket. There are ways and places that you can feed your child without showing your business to the world. What you do in the privacy of your home is another story.
you know my baby fights with me to pull the nursing cover off.. i can’t keep a blanket over his head and he is a large baby and i am a small woman so i don’t enjoy feeding him when it’s a wrestling match..without the cover, he lays still and eats peacefully. he also doesn’t cry, kick, scream or leave a mess like the other infants around.
anyway, i feel like without the cover, it can still be very discreet by a sneaky mom. with the cover/blanket on…EVERYONE KNOWS you’ve got something going on under there. that’s what made me more embarrassed to breastfeed in public- is people staring at my cover and hearing the whispers. i don’t hear those without it and no one sees my skin, they just think i am holding him close while he sleeps.
It’s not so much whether or not you have a “cover”, but whether or not you’re discreet.
This is absolutely FANTASTIC…found this through the page “Mommy Rants” on Facebook. I’m definitely reposting, and I’ll be following you from now on! Wonderful stuff!!!
I doesn’t bother me at all to see. I will, however, say that it was a subject that had to be prematurely discussed with my son a few years ago when he saw a woman breastfeeding at the YMCA on a bench in the lobby. It was not something that he understood and it was a difficult subject to help him understand given the fact that he has no older sibings and had never seen me breastfeeding. I think that it’s great as long as the mom is not one of those “in your face, whole boob, everyone watch me breastfeed and I dare you to look at me the wrong way” women. I also act like a total b*&^h and turn all the disgusting magazine covers around at the grocery store as well, so he doesn’t see them. I had a throw down at the Cool Springs Barnes & Noble b/c they put the Sports Ill. swimsuit edition (basically naked women) at kids eye level. So, there are def. two sides to the story. I do believe that nature (feeding your baby) should win the battle though. It’s just that our amoral society has sexualized women to the point that breastfeeding in public will never be totally accepted. Check out places in Africa~ like they care one bit who sees them? Breastfeeding is the only way by which to nourish their child! I would also mention that my vagina was used to create my baby but I don’t go flasing it to the world, so there is something to be said for modesty to a degree. Nature and a civilized society do not necessarily go hand in hand like they should.
I think if your son had always seen women breastfeeding children, as they do in other cultures, it would never have been an issue. Prematurely discussed??? What? Sorry, but I don’t think we can introduce our little ones to the idea too early! Why is it ok for a child to give their dolly a bottle, but frowned upon if they lift their top and pretend to breastfeed? Let’s get our priorities right. Do you want your son to see boobs as sexual or as perfectly natural nourishment? If it’s as nourishment then why are we not teaching our children about breastfeeding when we’re teaching them about food? Perhaps we should breastfeed for longer, less explaining necessary (and no, contrary to popular belief, it will not turn your son gay!!!) If your son is being bombarded with sexual images of breasts(which we all are), then surely it is better if he is also bombarded with the natural act of breastfeeding, so he can have a more balanced view. Sorry if this appears like an attack…it is not. Well done on raising your child like you do.
As for your vagina, well – you do not need to flash it to the world in order to feed your child. If you did, I hope that you would!
naturesmother, you seem intent on criticizing women who support breastfeeding when they only ask for modesty…To quote Leigh, “I think that it’s great as long as the mom is not one of those “in your face, whole boob, everyone watch me breastfeed and I dare you to look at me the wrong way” women.”
These types of women she mentions care more about themselves than the breastfeeding movement. I think most of the people you’re criticizing agree with you…unless you are one of these types that enjoy flashing your whole chest to the public.
Hi Karen, I can’t seem to reply directly to your comment. I’m simply stating my case, that while you are intent to make modesty your priority, I am intent on making my babies food and comfort my priority. If that means occasionally flashing ‘my whole chest’, then so be it. Most of the time people don’t know I am feeding, but my babies have always been against having things over there heads and we all know that initially, establishing breastfeeding can be difficult without the pressure of having to do it under cover. All I’m saying is that the more openly we do it, the more normal it will become, the less issues there will be surrounding it. Our babies nourishment is our priority, and is not a selfish act or one of purposely trying to show our breasts off or whatever you’re implying by ‘these types that enjoy flashing your whole chest to the public’.
Perhaps we should just agree to disagree. Our priorities are different. Mine is what’s best for my baby, yours is modesty. Let’s call it quits, huh?
We agree on the main issue–that women should be allowed to nurse wherever and whenever the baby needs to eat; our disagreement tends toward how that will best come about. You believe that desensitizing people to nudity will help (“…the more openly we do it, the more normal it will become…”), while I believe that showing courtesy towards others will best bring about acceptance of public breastfeeding.
I do thank you for your vocal support of breastfeeding–it’s a wonderful thing for mommy and baby!
Thanks Karen. I just feel that if moms(and dads)-to-be were to see it more, they would firstly, have more clue of how to do it, and secondly – not feel ashamed to do it! Isn’t it terrible that some people don’t breastfeed because they’re ashamed? I have a sister-in-law like that. It directly affects her children who both have asthma and eczema and are obese (I’m not saying all formula fed babies are obese…just happens to be the case here). It is sad to experience this, and I feel ashamed that society has made her feel too ashamed to breastfeed. I want to change that. I do not think this means I am desensitizing people to nudity. Breastfeeding is not nudity, you know. And while I speak of ‘flashing boob’, this does not mean I am intentionally waving my boobs around, it just occasionally happens when you have a curious baby who does not like a cover. I find it less embarrassing now then I used to. It cannot be helped and should not be deemed a crime – or selfish for that matter. I hope you can see my point, even if you disagree.
I agree with naturesmother’s comment on breastfeeding more openly and hopefully normalizing and increasing the percentage of breastfeeding mothers in our society. Humans learn from sight. The act of breastfeeding is best learned and understood by a visual process. So actually we are doing an injustice to mother’s to be or new mother’s in need of lactation help, when we use covers. You can describe proper latch, holds, mouth appearance etc a million times but until you are actually able to see it you don’t really know it. I was one of those that was having issues and article after article and LLL forums galore I just couldn’t figure out what was up with our latch or how to fix it properly. Even over the phone convos with LLL leaders and I was just dumbfounded. So I started scouring YouTube hoping that I could find a good close up video to illustrate for me what to do.
Becoming a ‘civilized’ nation is what damaged breastfeeding. Women with a low supply can still breastfeed and then supplement. Dry nurse and supplement. Lactose intolerance is easy to fix, mom’s don’t consume lactose it doesn’t get into breastmilk. Latch issues can be remedied. Babies get a lot more than just nutrition from breastfeeding and that seems to get overlooked far too often.
Wow…I guess I’m lucky. I’ve breastfed my children in all manner of public places and I’ve never received a dirty look or an unkind word.
I honestily would like to personally use my breasts as squirt guns and squirt the s.o.b that said that! This is b/s if you have a problem with breast feeding turn your damn head..I have a 12 week old and she eats when she wants, wherever she wants. I don’t give a F**k about what about says or thinks. There is no bond like no other other than breast feeding between a mother and baby..and how dare they criticize that..you know something i have to wonder if the individual that did this artical was breast fed? Because i bet if they were they would be singing a different tune then. Ughh it pisses me off soo much i cant beleive this! I’m a breast feeding mommy and PROUD! Its the most natural thing ever! And i love it!
Ummm…I think you may have misunderstood the article…have another read dear, and no need to get aggressive! What it’s saying is that it is crazy silly that we get upset by people breastfeeding but praise people who get there boobs out for the fun of it (or advertising) x
I have 3 kids, I have breast fed all of them. Yes, in public, too. However, I am very much a non-confrontationalist. If there’s a chance someone can be bothered by something I’m doing, even such a ridiculous thing as feeding my baby, I do what I can to minimize the “offence”, then if they still take issue, I can say with all honesty that the problem is with them: I went out of my way to appease them. This means, yes, if I’m not at a house, I throw a blanket over my shoulder (which generally works far better when they’re still tiny). But I certainly don’t take issue with those who choose not to.
I adopted so breast-feeding was not a option for me. All I can say is that people are idiots. Breasts are a body part. I can see far worse stuff on television any day of the week. More power to you ladies. Keep up the fight.
For the Christians who urge “modesty”: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/2185823/Vatican-approves-breast-feeding-pictures-of-Virgin-Mary.html
http://www.flickr.com/photos/17922911@N00/3074744382/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1028888/Vatican-plea-uncover-Virgin-Mary-breast-feeding-baby-Jesus.html
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/breastfeeding-baby-jesus.html
Care to try a rebuttal?
I am surprised at how many people I have gotten dirty looks from while I was nursing with a cover in public. Even from other moms! My son is 8 mo old and squirmy. I prefer a private place and sometimes just nurse in the car. I appreciate stores with nursing rooms and couches in bathrooms, but they are few and far between. Sometimes as moms we’re lucky stores even have a changing table!
Yay for breastfeeding!…but uh don’t come into my store to shop and plant yourself in front of my product while your child feeds. My boss is a bit of a tyrant to quote her “There’s no eating allowed in the store! For anyone!” I understand the benefits of breastfeeding and such, but Just because your kid’s hungry right that moment doesn’t mean you can’t say “Hey is there a dressing room I can use?”, and get the hell outta the way. You had a baby not a lobotomy. Jeez get some manners.
Sorry Jay, but that’s just rude. Unlike you, a teeny baby does not understand time! If she’s hungry, she/he cries for food NOW. The way nature intended it. A woman breastfeeding ANYWHERE should be normal and we should not be subjected to ignorance such as yours. Would you prefer a screaming baby in your shop? Do you know how stressed that makes a mom? Yes, she could ask to use the dressing room…but why, oh why, should she? Because you don’t want to see her doing a perfectly natural thing? You want her to hide? Now that’s just weird. Have some respect please.
If you carried a child maybe you would understand. As for your boss? When are people going to quit being so uptight? It’s natural, helps the immune system and been proven babies that are breastfed are smarter. That’s because the correct nutrients are ingested. Obviously Jay, you and your boss were not breastfed. Not all that long ago there wasnt such a thing called formula. It is a manufactured process. I regret that I didn’t breastfeed my oldest two, I was young, naive and pressured. If I could do it all over again I’d do it in her store!
In most states, that is illegal. In Kansas, the law is (I’m paraphrasing) “anywhere the mother is legally allowed to be, she is legally allowed to breastfeed.” Your boss’s attitude is a great way to invite a nurse in.
I’ve taken my son in a dressing room when he was a couple weeks old. It was a very small space for the two of us and he quickly overheated – not ideal for feeding. I have fed my son in my car, in restaurants, in stores (while shopping), in the doctor’s office waiting room, and in the public change room of the YMCA (where I actually had some women ask to see him while he was nursing- which I had no problem with- they’re just boobs). The only negative comments I have received have been from my own family. You can’t win all battles, but you can’t let idiot’s opinions stop you from doing what’s best for your child.
And just so you know. Not all women can pump and feed. I have supply issues and don’t get anything when I pump. If I do not nurse my son he gets formula. Why would I feed him that crap when I am right there with the real thing?
If the child needs feeding feed it, it is a natural act, animals in the wild do it. just because we as humans have a brain that decides it is wrong. get over it. The child will tell you when it is hungry.
what really gets me are the breastfeeding crusaders, ok yes we have been told that breast is best but that does not mean it is best for everyone and I have discovered that the breast feeding crusaders are the ones that dont care who sees or looks at them when they are breastfeeding. Having a teenage son going through puberty and a family member who just pops it out without warning really gets to me. Boys have hormones and i dont care what anybody says but if your going to breastfeed around a teenage boy be discreet about or at least warn them, if your not embarrassed to get your boobs out then dont embarrass a young boy by doing it without warning. It does not bother me personally because i just dont look but come on!! A teenage boy going through puberty, hellooooo show some modesty and a bit of respect for other people is all i ask.
First of all, breast IS best for EVERYONE. Second, that family member is doing your son’s future family a favor by showing him how breastfeeding is not a dirty or shameful thing, so hopefully he can be supportive of his future wife. you should be thankful someone is setting a good example of what breasts are used for (not sexual objects).
Breast may not be best for everyone, you do not know everyones circumstances and you should not judge those who choose not to breastfeed, or in my case was unable to breastfeed.
Jessica, I do not think this was a judgement from TJ. Just a fact. I am sorry you were unable to breastfeed, but it doesn’t change the fact that something designed specifically by nature for baby is normal and something created by man is abnormal/substandard. This blog is not an attack on women who were unable to breastfeed, it is simply a recognition of how weird the world is where boobs are worshipped until we decide to use them for what they were meant. We also need to spread the word of where women can get proper support to help them to breastfeed, as many stop/or are unable to due to lack of support (and seeing it done around them). Obviously there is a time and place for formula and I am glad you could make use of it.
Thank you!! My husband was exposed to breastfeeding when his parents had two more children when he was 8 and 10 years old. He’s never thought anything of it, has supported me through it 100% and has never thought it dirty or shameful. If I have to feed when we’re at Walmart shopping, he merely takes over the list and care of our two older kids. Don’t get me wrong, he certainly appreciates my breasts in a sexual way, but he’s mature enough to make a healthy separation between the two and recognize both uses. When my son is old enough to see breasts in a sexual way, I’ll definitely be sure to teach him the same difference that his dad learned at a young age from his mother.
I have a 15 month old baby girl and a 12 year old son. Was my son a bit embarrassed the first time he saw me nurse the baby? Yes. Do I go hide somewhere every time I need to feed the baby? NO. It is something that my son needed to adjust to and get used to. And he has! When he grows up and has children of his own, I hope that he will encourage and support his wife to breastfeed because he understands it and is not embarrassed by it!
I have seen so many butt cracks with the low rise jeans in fashion. I find that way more offensive than seeing someone breastfeed. I feel like nursing covers attract more attention than just lifting up my shirt quickly. I always wear a nursing tank or undercover mama so that my stomach is covered. More for myself than for others.
I’m 40. Two breastfed (in public) kids. I’ve never ever seen or heard anyone anywhere complain about someone breastfeeding. But I’ve also never heard anyone deny that boobs are sexual–until this blog. I say whip ’em out, it’s healthy and normal, but be aware that I’ll watch with interest, because that’s also healthy and normal.
I have to admit, I think boobs can be multi-purpose. Sexual and for feeding. Still, as you say, no need to hide ’em. 🙂
Ah, the truth comes out!
There’s still no denying that their most important purpose is for nourishing our babies!
Now come on! Most parts on the body can be classified as sexual. You’re a butt man, a boob man, a foot man, a mouth man? Good grief! A mouth is a body part used to nourish oneself, communicate words and emotions, provide love and comfort and sexual pleasure. Does that mean that we should start wearing burqas or mouth masks because even though the mouth is used to provide nourishment it also is used to provide oral sexual pleasure? I mean when you’re talking to a stranger are you turning your eyes away uncomfortably because you can’t help but wonder if they had a penis in there earlier during the day? I could go on forever about this. Hands…good lord the things we do with hands! Yet they are in plain view and we SHAKE STRANGERS HANDS daily!!! Now if you’re so inclined to watch with interest as a part of a breast is exposed for breastfeeding and it’s sexual enticement is so natural then I would expect that sort of reaction from you regarding mouths, hands and exposed feet. After all they are all sexual in nature as well. I highly doubt you’ll do that though since we have learned the magical ability to separate the sexual nature from the every day useful nature of those body parts but still we can’t seem to achieve this for breasts.
I think the next meaningless and ridiculous movement should be one where we demand that parent’s only kiss their children in private the mouth is a sexual organ that is overstimulating to our society and it makes us uncomfortable to have to see it used for something other than it’s sexual purpose. And sensualizing the mouth is everywhere. It’s even used to sell chocolate, salads, lip stick, teeth whitening procedures. Big red shiny lips with the bottom lip being gently bitten to showcase pearly whites. Angelina Jolie’s mouth for movie trailers. Kim Kardashian’s mouth for chicken salad’s, Paris Hilton’s mouth for the same company’s burgers. It’s out there everywhere but we still seem to be able to compartmentalize the sexual from the non-sexual. Yet we are incapable of doing this with breasts. BECAUSE WE STILL HIDE THEM!
Mother’s complaining that it’s too stimulating for their pubescent teenager boys. Well, had that boy as a child been more exposed to breastfeeding then it would not affect his like that as a pubescent teen. It would just be a normal occurance, not an unprovoked boner at the dinner table. Breastfeeding does need to be out there more in the public. It will provide hands on visual training for moms to be and new moms and will also serve to finally bring back NORMALIZATION of breastfeeding to this country.
As to an argument I saw earlier: I do NOT know you and you do NOT know me. But you’re high gloss lips upturned in a flirtatious manner while you speak to the waiter makes me uncomfortable! Please have the decency to be cover your mouth and turn around or leave.
Doesn’t that just sound absolutely ridiculous? I’m sure I’d get laughed at by everyone in that immediate area and told I was nuts and to get over myself. So why is it that the same statement modified for breasts directed towards a breastfeeding mother is so common and people fight for this? Wake up people!!!!
I congratulate all women who choose to breastfeed, I only could for 6 weeks with each of my children before my milk dried up on its own. I am also proud of any mother who feels they are comfortable enough with themselves to feed their baby in public with or without a cover.
The only people who ever saw me breastfeeding was my boyfriend, the nurses at the hospital and with my second child, my son also saw. I feel like they are still my breasts whether I am feeding my baby or not, and if I would not be comfortable with these people seeing my breasts without my baby attached then I am not comfortable with them seeing them with the baby attached. If we were out or people were over I would just go into the other room to feed. I always had a difficult time getting my babies to latch properly though so i did not want my breast hanging out for 5 mins trying to get the baby on and everyone watching. I am a very shy person and thats just how I feel. I would never expect anyone else to do the same, to me as long as you are feeding your baby you are doing the best thing for them, whether it is formula, pumped breastmilk, breastfeeding, public or at home, covered or not. Your child is being nourished and that is all that matters.
I think being nourished in a manner that is comfortable for both mother and baby is very important. It doesn’t end it nourishment. It is nurture, nursing, bonding, care.
Imagine you live in a culture where calves and knees should be covered (I grew up in one). One day people start showing knee, and everyone starts getting upset. ‘How can she show her knee? That is disgusting’ they say. ‘She must be stopped. She must stop wearing short skirts. She will go to hell.’ See the comparison? Is this what we’re doing? We are simply weird about boobs, which is completely unfair on the babies who need nourishment.
Of course it is up to you if you don’t want anyone to see you breastfeed. If I had to breastfeed in a seperate room when I had friends over, I’d simply never get to see them (especially when my girls were tiny), so it makes little sense to me. It was very helpful to me to see friends breastfeeding their babies as we could compare latch and figure out why we were having problems, etc. Surely this is more healthy and supportive.
However, each to his own and well done for feeding when you did.
I don’t think that me choosing to feed in another room was unhealthy nor do I feel that I was lacking in support. I had lots of support to breastfeed and would have longer if I could. Just because I couldn’t continue does not mean I did not bond with my children.
I do not think the issue is about boob being shown, I have no problem with people breastfeeding while uncovered. The ones who bother me are the ones who sit with the boob hanging out well before or after the child is eating. That is inappropriate when in public. You don’t see anyone else walking around with their boob hanging out, it is not acceptable. That is where you may be comfortable with everyone walking by seeing you hanging out but that doesn’t mean they need to be. I most certainly do not want to be walking along in the mall with my boyfriend and my son and have them looking at some other womans breast (we all know most guys would not look away).
It is common curtosy, as someone else mention, to take into account the feelings of others. Everyone has different beliefs and it is no ones place to try to force their beliefs on someone else who feels differently. The way to change their minds or help them to see your views is to explain, and help them understand. It is not to be in their face and pushing your feelings on them, That will only push people farther away. I agree with you that women should be able to feed in public, not covered if they wish, but I also believe that women who chose to cover, go in another room, or choose formula should not be looked down upon and made to feel like they are failing their child in some way, which is how you (along with others) have made me feel. We all choose to parent differently and how we are comfortable. We as mothers need to respect each other for doing what we feel is best for our children, even though we may not feel the same way.
As a breastfeeding mother, I will feed my child however I want. I am legally allowed to do so, and I don’t care how offended anyone is over the slight expanse of skin that may be shown. My daughter knocks the cover off, and she sweats badly with things over her head. So, sorry, I care more about her comfort than your opinion.
I personally find it more offensive to see a baby thats half my baby’s age, yet twice her size, gulping down an 8 oz. bottle of formula, thats probably doing more harm than good. I don’t hide, nor do I cover up. And I will refuse to do so unless the woman next to me giving her already overweight infant a bottle, covers up as well. I am descreet, but absolutely will not make my baby eat in a way i wouldn’t want to eat, e.g. in a bathroom, under a blanket, sitting uncomfortably in my car in a parking lot, etc.
I would just like to point out that I have seen may babies who are breastfed who are “overweight”. I don’t know how you can say a baby is overweight anyway unless they are 3 months old and like 30 pounds which couldnt happen anyway.
How do you know this mother sitting next to you hadn’t tried breastfeeding and wasn’t able to? Or maybe was not able to because of meds she has to take that would not be safe for the baby. How do you know that she is not feeding her baby pumped breastmilk.? Her baby will not be harmed by drinking formula over breastmilk and you are not able to judge whether a baby is overweight or not.
My babies were both breast and formula fed and both were nice sized babies, not skinny, and not overweight. Babies come in all different shapes, just like anyone else, and it is wrong of you to assume that larger babies are larger because they drink formula when breastmilk probably has more fat in it. Babies need fat.
I have a 1 year old who is breastfed and i will feed her any time anywhere and i will feed her until the age of 2. I don’t care what people think if my baby is hungry then i will feed her, i don’t cover but i also do flash, the baby covers most of the boob and my top covers the rest , not only do they not like to be covered up it can get really hot and sweaty under there. Breast milk is the best you can give your baby if you can, it helps keep them healthy through out their life they wont get sick as often as others. Mothers have been breast feeding since time began and back then they were most likely total nude. My daughter is my 7th baby and i have breast fed them all if you are offended don’t look but i am not going to stop or move away because you don’t like it. If it’s the elderly that is offended it’s because the era they grew up in and if the young women of today are offended it’s because they are not yet mothers. Breast feeding is the most natural normal thing on earth to do, our boobs aren’t there for men to exploit and get their rocks off we have boobs to raise our future. Yay to all the breastfeeding mothers keep it up, you know whats best for your baby and yay for boobs……..
you worded that perfectly…:)
most of the people who have a problem with it, do have their own issues.
and usually its because they are worried their partner might look.
get over it people!!!!
breast feeding has been around a hell of a lot longer than clothing, its the most natural thing in the world, next to child birth.
women were made with boobs for that exact reason, TO FEED THEIR YOUNG!!!
how can someone have a problem with that?
Wow! Took me awhile to read all the comments and it makes me sad that people are so hostile to others, where’s human decency? Why is it SO wrong to post nude photos on facebook but not be able to post one picture breastfeeding my baby.. I’m NOT sorry for giving my baby a 100% nutricious meal whenever she wat. I’m NOT sorry for bonding with my baby girl. I’m NOT sorry for breasteeding in public I’m NOT sorry for offending you.I WILL NOT be sorry for doing something that is the BEST thing for her and I WILL NOT BE ASHAMED!! And I WONT be sorry for hurtii your sensibililties.
When I breast fed my son I didnt care where i was at. If he was hungry, I would just throw a blanket over us and feed him. Public or not, If your child is hungry and that is his only source of food then i say feed him. DONT WORRY ABOUT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THINKS.
It’s interesting that in countries where women are expected to cover every inch of their body for modesty’s sake (face, ankles, you name it, it is covered) no one questions breastfeeding in public.
Living in a country (US) where women show all sorts of skin on a regular basis, it baffles me how people can be so weird about a women showing the tiniest bit of her breast because her kid is hungry. Yikes.
I’d like to mention something that I think is being over looked. I don’t think any of us here would suggested that breast feeding isn’t always best. It may not always be possible for every mother, but I think we all agree that it is best. What people to seem to be arguing over is to cover or not. I would say this, it should be looked at not from a selfish way, (what is easiest for me), but from a selfless manner (how can I make this easier for everyone). In our culture today, public nudity is not accepted. I won’t get into the morality of that, because that is not the issue. Like it or not, nudity, including the female breast, makes people uncomfortable, and is, in many cases illegal. I believe every one of you here would not like it if a beautiful woman walked down the street naked, in front of your husband or boyfriend. It would anger you, and you would think, “She has no right!” This is a natural sentiment for our culture. I would agree with you in your sentiment. That woman does not have the right to inflict her state of nudity on all the rest of us. If she would like to be nude in her own home, then that of course, is her own choice. The rub comes from her taking her actions into the public. It is a selfish act, because while she may be most comfortable without clothes, the rest of us must deal with the aftermath of her choice. I would say breastfeeding falls into the same category as the above example. In our own homes, we should be comfortable, and do what we like. But when it comes to the public, it is selfish to insist on being able to nurse just as we would at home. It may not bother you, but it may be very offensive to someone else. As a culture, we must all remember that while we have individual rights, there are public rights that sometimes trump those. At please do not say, “Well, our culture is wrong and should change!” The nudest might say the same thing. That is of course, both of your rights. If you want to see change, then by all means work to bring it about, but do so within the already given perimeter of our culture. In this case, that would mean working to change laws, and minds, without offending either of them in the process. Anything else is a selfish, strong-arm attempt to force other people to agree with your position.
That’s the real issue here, mammaoftwo…well said!
and, yet, more and more there are laws protecting breastfeeding in public. How dare you compare a baby getting its nourishment to people wanting to parade around naked. Did you ever think that maybe mothers have tried to cover up (such as myself) but the baby fights to get the blanket off and won’t nurse until the blanket is gone? Should we become hermits and hide at home for a year or two when the baby isn’t being breastfed anymore? Or if we are allowed to venture out, should we make the screaming hungry baby wait until the mom can find a secluded place so as not to displease other people who might be uncomfortable seeing a woman nurse her baby? Do you know how hard that is (and do NOT suggest a bathroom unless you’re willing to eat off the toilet, yourself). The main concern is that the baby needs to be fed in order to survive; however, people, such as yourself, will (believe it or not) survive in the same room while a baby nurses. How could you be so selfish to put your wants (not to be made uncomfortable over seeing a baby nursing) over the needs of a little baby (nursing)? How does one learn to become so selfish?
Hmmm, interesting that you would call breastfeeding (covered or not) a selfish act. I think it is selfish to expect a baby to feed under a cover. We breastfeed because we want what is best for our baby. Sometimes breastfeeding under covers is difficult. Why make early motherhood anymore difficult than it already is!?? And why starve your baby because those around you think that the way you breastfeed is selfish? I’ve never heard such tosh, to be honest. Breastfeeding is a selfless act, if anything and you have no right to judge those who can not or choose not to feed our babies under cover, or take our delicate little babies in a toilet full of germs just because of people like yourself..you should be ashamed of yourself.
She did not say breastfeeding is selfish…she said expecting to do it in public and not offend anyone is selfish. Also expecting everyone to agree with you and you not having to adjust for public is selfish. Breastfeeind itself is not selfish…it is the way you think it should be the same at home as in public. Why does the world have to adjust for you becasue you breastfeed? You should adjust to the public area you are in to breastfeed and that might mean to use a cover….and to respect you are not the only person there.
Well to be quite honest, the only one there that matters to me is my baby and what is best for him. I don’t fell I owe you or anybody else anything, let alone my respect when you can’t respect my child needs to eat!
The law already allows for breastfeeding in public, and equating gratitious nudity, and breastfeeding in public in which little of the breast is usually shown (certainly no more than a bikini top for the vast majority of mothers) is a red herring argument. 🙂 No strong arm needed, just milky boobs to feed my child- and my child has the right to eat.
The law in most states already says a woman has a right to breastfeed in public. There is no mention of modesty or nudity or otherwise in my state’s law. So, I think your argument is starting from the wrong premise.
If you find my breastfeeding my baby in public offensive, please, feel free to cover YOUR head with a blanket. Thank you.
Well said, Rachel!!!!
Im all about breastfeeding. If u can succeed at it, go for it. However, I don’t want to see ur boob while I’m trying to have dinner or lunch or whatever else I’m doing. Please cover ur boob up.
And for those who just want to fight about it…..you CAN cover Urself up WITHOUT covering ur baby’s face. So don’t use the excuse “I wouldn’t want to eat with my face covered so neither will my baby.” Seeing a baby suckle and seeing a boob are two completely different things.
I am personally not comfortable exposing my breasts in public (well, not sense I was 19..shhhh!)…But that’s just me (and some others)… But I have absolutely no problem with others being comfortable with it. More power to them! Our babies need to eat, and I have never seen anything inappropriate out in public regarding breastfeeding.
So I use a nursing cover, like these (I make em)
http://www.etsy.com/listing/87357621/home-made-breastfeedingnursing
(Every purchase made on my site goes towards the costs of my home birth this February! Thanks for checking it out.)
The difference here is that breastfeeding is essential to many lives, in particular the babies for whom it’s their sole source of food. Nudity is illegal in many places, but breastfeeding is not. I have breastfed all three of my children and I was very concerned with not “flashing” anyone at first. In fact, the very first time I BFed my eldest child, she was 6 days old and I was in the ER waiting to see her pediatrician. I was so embarrassed because this man was looking at me that using a cover wasn’t even enough and I asked a friend who worked there if there was somewhere completely private where I could nurse my baby. I used my cover everywhere I went and would go and use the private rooms until one day when she was having a growth spurt. I was trying to enjoy some time out at the mall and every time I thought she was done, packed up our stuff and continued shopping, she’d start to get fussy and want to eat again. After about 3 frantic trips to find the closest “nursing area” with a screaming baby, often at the very back of the store and certainly not anywhere convenient, I gave up and plopped down on a bench in the middle of the mall. I was prepared for dirty looks and comments and was relieved to not receive one. From that day on, I stopped trying to “please the masses” and pleased my baby. When she got bigger and would pull off the thin blanket I used, I gave up on that too. An unhappy covered baby makes much more of a scene than a quietly nursing baby without a cover.
I don’t use a cover anymore, but I’m also extremely discreet and make my best attempt not to flash anyone. It happens occasionally because babies love to see what’s going on around them, but I would never purposely “whip it out”.
I need to feed my baby, plain and simple. God provided a free, easy, portable, perfect food for my baby, so why am I being judged for not being ashamed to use it? I don’t judge you for using a cover, so why do you judge me for not using one. Us mommies get judged enough, just let me feed my baby!! It’s a beautiful natural thing. Can’t we please just embrace it?
I breastfeed my daughter in public. She HAS to eat. When EVERYONE starts covering THEIR head in public while eating, then I will cover my daughters head. Some find that a nursing mother that covers is MORE of an attention getter than a mother who does NOT cover.
I nurse in public all the time. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I do use a cover, but that is for my own comfort and for the fact that since its colder, if I have to feed him while we’re outside it keeps both of us from getting too cold. If anyone has anything to say about it, I say f*** off and cover yourself or look away. I won’t stand for being told that I need to go to the bathroom or my car because its bothering others. I’m actually going to be really upset if we get stationed somewhere next year that doesn’t have laws protecting nursing mothers. There are 3 or 4 states that have that problem. And yes. It IS a problem.
Hoping and praying you are stationed somewhere that has laws protecting you to breastfeed. This is my 4th child, but the FIRST time I’ve ever breastfed. And I love everything about it! I was scared to death to breastfeed in public, but I HAD to do it because my daughter NEEDED to eat. Now, I don’t give a rats ass what people say or the looks they give me. I smile great big just to be an asshole =)
Thanks, I hope so as well. I think that would be an upside to getting stationed in Europe. lol.
I have a SOLUTION! To the “to cover or not to cover” dilema . How about, instead of making me throw a blanket over my baby’s little head while she eats because it makes YOU uncomfortable, if you happen to see me breastfeeding, just throw a blanket over YOUR head. That way, you don’t need to feel uncomfortable with my baby being fed, and I don’t need to be uncomfortable with your judging eyes, and my sweet little girl doesn’t need to be uncomfortable with a blanket over her face while she’s trying to eat. 😀 its genius.
I have 4 children of my own and I breastfed every one of them. I do agree that they deserve to eat their meal with the same respect given to us when we eat ours. I have been at restaurants and stores where I have seen random people with more of their bodies showing then a breast feeding mom. In the pharmacy the other day was a woman whos jeans rode so low that half of her butt was sticking out yet I got weird looks for less than half of my boob showing and mine was for a good cause! To the people who think that a blanket should be used: If you are a breast feeding mother and feel more comfortable using a blanket then that is your choice, however if you are someone who has not or will not breast feed a child then I would say to you that the next time you go out to eat please tie a napkin around your face because someone might find it offensive to see you eating your meal. I see breast feeding mothers everywhere and to me it is a beautiful sight to see them doing what is best for their child and to know the incredible bond that comes with it. I walked through Walmart with my 3 week old son eating his meal, I placed a blanket AROUND my shoulder and him but not over him, so that I could look down and see him. I got the worst looks and was asked to stop to which I replied “If you find a baby eating offensive then I am sorry but could you stop breathing because your breath stinks and I find that very offensive!”
Noone has said it is offensive to see a baby eat! They have said the do not want to see or their children to see boobs in public! Why is it so hard to respect that? My children have seen many of my friends nurse but have yet to see one of their boobs…why? because they respect that they can breastfeed (some without covering with a blanket) and be discreet! You can be a breastfeeder and still respect others!
I breastfed in public but chose to use a nursing cover. I just can’t believe all these people ripping another person apart for her opinion. I would never react or talk to a person like this that’s uncomfortable seeing breasts in public. I am sure you will rip me apart too for this comment. Let’s be civil and stop the derogatory talk. Wow! Just wow is all I can say to this discussion! I have no problems with others feeding their young in public. I just chose to use a cover.
Ever hear of a breast pump???
Have you ever used one? Not very convenient for every day use when you have a perfectly good pair of boobs that provide milk at the right time, temperature and perfectly fresh. Do you know that a womens breastmilk changes daily to sui`1
suit babies changing needs? Why would you tamper with this by using xpressed milk if you didn’t have to?
Sara, this probably the dumbest comment on this thread. Did you even think before posting this?
i have breast fed all 3 of my children. i suppose i tried to cover up a bit in public, however, i cannot say i am offended in anyway when i see someone breastfeeding. i know they are not doing it for my benefit and its really none of my business. i know they are taking care of their own child. i feel like its intrusive for me to watch or stare. i usually look a way, although i think it is a very sweet thing they are choosing to do for their child. i would barely notice if a boob was out because i would NOT be staring. all my children have been nursed between 2-31/2. they arent easily controlled at those ages & often blankets/covers get ripped off. it is what it is. But what i find most humorous is that nudity is so acceptable in our society and yet ppl are still choosing to bitch about this topic. are you kidding me? i go out in the mall during the holiday season & see more breast than just about anytime ive seen a nursing mother in public. i dont wanna hear about how uncomfortable you are grown up!
You’d be lucky to see me cover my child’s head while breastfeeding in public. Sorr.y God gave you legs so you can walk away. I will be discreet but I will not cover. Unless you express to me you have a problem, then I’ll be a little less discreet just because you’re being ignorant.
When you are hungry, you eat. We can not predict when are baby is hungry, but usually if we are out, chances are they will be hungry. Babies have to eat too.
I never had a complaint about my brestfeeding in public. however i was intensly offended when i had to and had men or teenage boys staring at my chest as I did! hello! I can SEE you looking, bugger off my child is eating and I don’t need some idiots making me uncomfortable. I don’t see how its at all offensive. I used a blanket with my daughter for my own comfort, my son didn’t like the blanket and was a difficult nurser as it was so I didn’t get the option. don’t like it don’t look.
I have breastfed 3 kids at the start I covered as they were still getting use to it but once they were use to it I just fed my child u dont always remember to bring a blanket with u. But in saying that my top always covered me my boobs were never on show and people still look down on u. I say if u can stuff ur mouth and eat in public why cant a baby. Its natural dont try and force us to bottle feed. If u dont like it dont f***en stare ur the ones that are rude not use. I see mag covers and billbords that are more offencive. I use to do modeling so I know the type of photos but im happy I did it so I dont see why us breastfeeding mothers should cover and be looked down appon.
Only in the United States do we find a totally natural thing such as breast feeding offensive. In europe, where the people are much opener than here in the USA, breast feeding isn’t by any means offensive.
It is sad that we have problems with something that is only offensive because we are so narrow minded!
I am due to have my second baby in January and about to go through all that “its offensive to BF in public” stuff again. But bring it on, I am not about to let my child go hungry because someone can’t handle a bit of boob. I BF my daughter at a public event once because there were no facilities avaliable for us to use, oh there was a dirty broom cupboard but I thought hmm no thanks.
Honestly I think there are far more offensive things out there than boobs. What about teenaged girls that seem to buy the wrong sized tops and shorts and end up exposing their boob’s and bum’s to the world? Or people that spit everywhere, use offensive language or offensive gestures. What about GAY love!!! Hmmm??? I find smoking offensive because that is harmful, not only to the smoker but also to those around them, we know this for a fact! However smokers will continue to do it and no one kicks up a stink about that!
What part of Breast feeding is offensive? Honestly? Is it that there is a bit of flesh shown? Perhaps its the fact that there is liquid coming out of them? Is it the act of a baby sucking on them to feed? If you want to cover up then do so but only do that if you want to not because you think you are offending someone. Are you offended by cows? Their boobs are exposed 24/7 AND we drink what comes outta them!
So to those that are a little sensitive, harden the F up this is life, get a clue!
Also here in Australia it is considered to be neglect/abuse to allow a child to go hungry. Some babies will not drink from a bottle or take formula they will only take the boob AND have you ever tried to express???? OMG that is the most frustrating experience I think any mother could go through.
So harden up and deal with the real issues!
what a bunch of old prunes!!!!!
breasts were made for feeding our children , and they have been around a hell of a lot longer than clothing.!
if you have a problem with it DONT LOOK!!!!
if my child is hungry i will feed him, and i dont give a rats arse what you think is acceptable.
breast feeding is the most natural thing in the world, your ‘holier than thou’ attitude however, is not.
and how the hell can you compare feeding a child to some one walking down the street naked.
its like comparing a salt shaker to a dildo.
unless you already have issues in that area, there is no comparison.
to me ,my breasts are just a feeding tool, nothing else.
no different to a bottle, just better for them and more efficient.
most people who find it offensive have issues of their own to deal with, so deal with them.
dont take it out on the women trying to do the right thing for their child.
crawl out from under your rock, pull your head out of your arse, and get a reality check.
and hope to hell you dont run into me in the street.!
I’m a first time mom of a 4 month old little girl and I never cover her with a blanket I wear a nursing cami and a tshirt and it covers almost everything. I have had people tell me to cover up and I ask them if they can see anything and they say no but it’s offensive my reply everytime “the only way it’s offensive is it I were to pull her off and spray you but I dont and since the ONLY way you would see anything is if you were right next to me I think you should just mind your own business” I was told once not to breastfeed in public and I told them not to eat or drink anything till they got home that if it really bothered them I would stop only to follow them and make sure they didnt eat or drink till they got home. Why should I starve my child while you dont have to? I have every right to feed her when she is hungry and I will no matter what you think
I agree with all you say Molly!!!
Obviously the people who are totally against breast feeding in public are not mothers. Yes I prefer to feed in private but its no big deal if I cant
I am a lactation consultant from Canada, now living in the USA. There was never a problem such as this in Canada, or most of the rest of the world for that matter. But I took note immediately upon moving to the USA that Americans seem to have a problem with breastfeeding. The USA is supposedly one of the most advanced countries in the world and yet it is so far behind the rest of the world in many respects, the only one I’ll get into here is breastfeeding which is the topic of discussion.
Ironically, Americans have no problem with nudity which is very interesting. If a woman came into a restaurant dressed in a low cut, see through blouse, she would be admired by many, mainly men. But if a woman were to lift a top and show a much smaller amount of flesh as she feeds a baby, she is regarded as disgusting.
Very few women in this country breastfeed. Why is that? Breastfeeding takes approximately 6 weeks to become well established. Where are the American women within 6 weeks of giving birth? Back to work of course. Is it supported at work? NO!! I am also an RN in a supposedly breastfeeding friendly hospital. I’ve seen many of these new mom’s try to pump their milk on the job. There is even a breast feeding area within the hospital. But when these young nurses try to get there, there just isn’t time. They are often told they cannot leave the floor and must be available for their patients at all times. I’ve even seen one supervisor cause the mom to break down in tears because we were short staffed and leaving the floor for 20 min. to pump was out of the question. The issue here was her comfort and health, but with a male nurse supervisor, there was to be no understanding. This is a breastfeeding friendly USA hospital!! If it is not advocated here, I’m sure it’s not advocated much of anyplace else! Eventually these new mom’s just give up and bottle feed.
If these Mom’s were in Canada, they would have 2 years PAID leave to stay home and feed, bond with their babies. Does this make a difference in the child? Of course, aside from all the benefits of breastfeeding, it does provide for bonding and a well rounded child, whom turns into a well rounded adult. I feel confident that if there were more breastfed children in this country, we would not have the crime levels that we have. The children would be more strongly bonded with the parents. Who knows what the difference would be, we’ll never know because we’ll not ever get there. You see, we are now living in a part of the world, where everyone only thinks of themselves and what’s good for them. This is the ME society!
So, to all of you breastfeeding mom? I give you a lot of credit for doing this in this country. You are fighting many obstacles to do this, by only being able to do it truly for 6 weeks, then back to work while caring for a newborn at home. No assistance from the government to raise happy well rounded children. You have to do this totally on your own, and then put up with other people’s opinions regarding where to feed your baby. Carry on! I love this conversation and felt strongly enough to put my 2 cents into it.
I just want to make 1 correction. In Canada we get 1 year of paid mat leave then are expected to return to work. They were talking about making it 2 years (which would be great!) but it hasn’t happened yet.
I think it is crazy that mothers in the USA are expected to return to work at 6 weeks and it is not much wonder that so many choose not to breastfeed.
Dr. Suess for Nursing Moms
Would you nurse him in the park?
Would you nurse him in the dark?
Would you nurse him with a Boppy?
And when your boobs are feeling floppy?
I would nurse him in the park,
I would nurse him in the dark.
I’d nurse with or without a Boppy.
Floppy boobs will never stop me!
Can you nurse with your seat belt on?
Can you nurse from dusk till dawn?
Though he may pinch me, bite me, pull,
I will nurse him ’till he’s full.
Can you nurse and make some soup?
Can you nurse and feed the group?
It makes him healthy strong and smart,
Momma’s milk is the right start!
Would you nurse him at the game?
Would you nurse him in the rain?
In front of those who dare complain?
I would nurse him at the game.
I would nurse him in the rain.
As for those who protest lactation,
I have the perfect explanation:
Momma’s milk is tailor made
It’s the perfect food, you need no aid.
Some may scoff and some may wriggle,
Avert their eyes or even giggle.
To those who can be cruel and rude,
Remind them breast’s the perfect food!
I would never scoff or giggle,
Roll my eyes or even wiggle!
I would not be so crass or crude,
I KNOW that this milk’s the perfect food!
Making just the amount that we need
Perfect temp for every feed.
There’s no compare to milk from breast –
It’s real baby food! No contest.
Those sweet nursing smiles are oh so sweet,
Momma’s milk is such a treat.
Human milk just can’t be beat.
Oh, I will nurse, in any case,
On the street or in your face.
I will not let my baby cry,
I’ll meet his needs, I’ll always try.
It’s not about what’s good for you,
It’s for my babies, through and through.
I will nurse him in my home,
I will nurse him when I roam.
Leave me be lads and ma’am.
I will nurse him, MOM I AM.
I am amazed at the strong negativity in this thread of comments! The most natural thing of all on this planet is a mother nursing her child to sustain life. Not for YOU (anyone opposed) to feel uncomfortable or comfortable or have an opinion, but to carry on life. Respect life. Respect a mother and child and turn your head if you do not believe in nature. Where in the world have we all gotten our heads that there even needs to be a ‘movement’ for or against breastfeeding?
Ok, I see a lot of chatter… wow… I breastfed my daughter in public. I very rarely got looks. When I did, I ignored them. I believe if you have the right to eat your lunch at a table in a restaurant, so does my child. If you are offended, how bout you go hide in the bathroom stall and eat your lunch among the crap and filth? Or how bout you take your lunch home driving all the way with a screaming hungry baby in the back seat? Not enough? Maybe you should eat out in your car with the weather being -40cel.? Doesn’t sound comfy? Think averting your eyes is that hard??? I don’t need to show my whole top half to feed my baby, just a wee little strip.
I never reply to these blogs but feel compelled to. I am a mother of 2 and a lactation consultant. I obviously promote breastfeeding. It is natural and the healthiest way to feed a baby. It is too bad that the American culture about breasts is sex based. After all that amazing thing called the breast was made for a purpose and that is to feed a child. It is an absolutely amazing part of a woman’s body. I must admit that I have a difficult time breastfeeding in public. It is extremely hard to overcome those piercing looks of disgust even though you know your doing what is right and should be a social norm. Even with a cover-up people will stare you down so you feel ashamed like your doing something wrong. All I know is the more women that breastfeed in public the more the public will get used to it. More power to the mother’s. Know that you’re not
alone and praise those around you that
brave the stares.
I have been a nurse for 30 yrs and still find it offensive to have people whip out a tit in public. Go to a bathroom or a closed room. That is what they make them for. Most malls have lg bathroom to sit in and take care of it. That is also why they developed breast pump so you can carry a bottle with you. If I go into a sitting room and someone is in there it does not bother me. But out where the world can see? I call it indecent exposure.
OMG! I am glad you are not my midwife.
A Nurse for 30 years?! And You want someone to BF in the place where others have bowel movements? So for me to go to a mall, or anywhere else I need to pump, and bring a cooler pack for the breastmilk? Well, let’s take all of the food courts out of malls. And let me dictate how you may eat.
You are a sad woman to think that watching a baby eat is indecent exposure. I feel for you.
It is sad and discouraging to read this type of comment from someone in the medical community. It is this type of ignorance that prevails among SOME medical professionals that causes many would-be nursing mothers to turn to bottle feeding. If they are not being supported and encouraged to BF immediately after deliver and during their hospital stay many BF mothers will simply give up. In my opinion, educating our medical professionals is where we need to start.
In some religions, people find uncovered hair to be offensive as well…and most of those women keep their hair covered. It is an individual point of view towards modesty- cultural, religious, whatever! It shouldn’t matter. I think whether you choose to cover or not is a personal choice and women should be respected and allowed to make their own decisions based on their beliefs/values/point of view, not based what people around them will think, but based on what is right for them- covered OR uncovered.
I have breastfed all three of my children until they were each about 16 months old. There were times when I personally felt more comfortable breastfeeding in a quiet room so my baby would go to sleep and I could have some alone/quiet time. There were OTHER times when I fed him/her in restaurants, church, the car, at friends and families homes, standing in line at Wal-mart and many other places. I DO cover up when I am in public and all of my kids have fought it at some point. I do care about other peoples feelings and so it’s my personal decision to cover up when I’m breastfeeding in public and not when I am home. If others want to ‘whip it out’ and feed their babies then I will avert my eyes. I love living in this beautiful country where we have so much freedom, and I DESPISE it when I see people trying to take that freedom away because THEY are uncomfortable.
I can’t believe people make such a big deal about a mother feeding her baby. Would you rather listen to a screaming baby whilst eating your meal at the restaurant? Funny you know. The same people complaining about a breast feeding mother completely ignore the woman walking past or sitting next to them with nearly all their breasts hanging out their skimpy dress. And the person that made the comment about people not revealing their privates in public with other bodily functions, come on!! What’s that got to do with breast feeding? It’s just so easy to look the other way or actually pay attention to the people your socializing with at the dinner table. I’ve seem tv commercials that show more breast on free to air tv. Grow up people an get your mind out the gutter. Maybe some of you people should not eat in public because we don’t want to see your offensive face in public. I was sitting next to a mother once and didn’t even realize she was breast feeding. I thought she was just cuddling her bubs. Maybe people that are offended should go visit a psychologist and address their fear of nature. Your comments are offensive, not the slightest bit breast showing.
LOL my 14 month old doesnt find it OFFENSIVE ……….in fact i dare say she loves BOOBIES !!
I’ve gotten numerous dirty looks for nursing with my cover on. If I’m going to get the looks anyhow I’ll give them a reason to glare.
God put breasts on women to feed their children, not for guys to play with. I am a man and I don’t see anything wrong with the second use. Most animals feed their young the same way breast feed moms do. Nothing is more beautiful than a mom caring for their young.
Breastfeeding is truly the most healthy, loving way to raise a baby, and I’m completely and totally in favor of it, and not offended by it. HOWEVER, with that said, the ones who so arrogantly indicate that they don’t care who they offend by doing so had best not be the ones complaining about manger scenes and other religious things in public place because that might offend someone. Double standards are unacceptable.
I agree that breastfeeding, covered or not, is a wonderful thing, even in public. I don’t care what you do, and you’re making sure your baby gets exactly what he or she needs. Not just nourishment, but antibodies for illnesses, exposure to common allergens in the area which reduces or prevents allergies later in life, etc. BUT I feel I have to say one thing: the hostile tone of a lot of the comments here is very, very off-putting. You will never strong-arm your way to a social change. Be polite, be considerate. I’m not saying cover yourself up, but if you’re breastfeeding your baby and you look at passersby with a confrontational look on your face that says “I’m here and I’ll do whatever the hell I want,” you’re far more likely to get dirty looks than if you just sat down, latched up, and got on with it.
lol, The people you are talking to don’t care. They don’t care what you think and they don’t care what you write here. They ARE there and they WILL do whatever the hell they want.
How rude are all you people saying cover up while feeding our children!! Do i tell you to cover up while you eat? you should be ashamed of yourselves! ITS NOT A CRIME….
i dont see the big deal…. pretty sure i see girls wearing more revealing clothes then what you see when a mum has a baby on the boob and no one goes bitching about that being offensive! get over it… if your offended by it… your probably looking to hard at it anyway!! get up and move or look the other way… simple!
FACT: Breast IS best. The only time it is better to use formula is if a mother TRULY CANNOT PRODUCE BREASTMILK, period. Scientific fact, not an attempt to pass judgement or guilt, k mamas? You give your baby formula? Fine, your choice. But do not try to convince yourself it is the better choice, because it isn’t and as far as guilt.. nobody can you make anyone else feel guilty… we do that alll on our own.
FACT: Breasts are for feeding babies (not for sex.) Do men have breasts? No. Do they have babies? No. Can they lactate from their nipples? No. Women, on the other hand, have/do all these things. It is obvious that breasts are meant for feeding children. Period.
FACT: If you are uncomfortable about accidently getting a glance at a strangers breast while she is feeding your child, you are are not comfortable with the fact that we are human, mammal. Also you are apparently unable to turn your head in another direction and may need to seek medical attention for that one….
I feed my daughter when she gets hungry. I do not carry a blanket around with me, nor would I ever put a blanket over my daughter’s head while she eats. How indescribably rude! I have fed my daughter in restraunts, walking through grocery stores, in parks.. and you know what? I get WAY more people that compliment me for taking care of my daughter, saying things like, “how sweet!” I do not make any attempt to hide what I do, yet people often think she is just sleeping. I do not flaunt my breasts or force anyone to watch me, I simply perform one of my tasks as a mother on demand. Get over it! ❤
I also wanted to add.. I do my best to not let my breast hang out.. Cause I don’t really want you to see my breast. And I have never seen a woman let her breast hang out excessively, unless I’m with one of my girlfriends at home…. And I’m also not going to cover up my breast when I know for a fact that after that loud noise has passed, she will be back at it. It’s a whole 10 seconds, people.. We all need to get real…
I fed my daughter for 6 weeks – she wouldn’t attach (premmie) and my son for 2 days ( reflux and projectile vomiting) so I can’t really weigh into this debate – I NEVER fed in public – was very uncomfortable and my kids just wouldn’t feed properly…
Women should have the right to breast feed when ever and where ever they like.
I agee,people need to simply grow up !!!
I cant even believe that this conversation is happening in 2011.
I nursed all three of my boys,the oldest being 32, the youngest is 18. My mother,( who fed us all formula by bottle in the ’50s) was obviously irritated that I would nurse in public, even though I was discreet and had a shawl lightly draped over my shoulder..she wanted me to take my baby into a dirty public restroom to feed him :-0 However, my dad, who was raised on a farm in the 30s, didnt see any thing wrong with it. I used a shawl over my shoulder as a sense of manners. My baby’s face wasnt covered and i could see my baby, but by draping my shoulder it gave me and my child and the public at large a sense of privacy without smothering my child. Manners are simply a way of expressing civility,…showing that you are considering the feelings of others.by not expecting them to jump out of their comfort zone on your schedule …some people needed time to make the adjustment, but for pete’s sake, that was over 30 years ago!!!! Time to move on!
Why stop at images of breasts?? Why not just ban women from magazines and photo’s then eventually the street or the shops.
You people are idiots.
I don’t think these images should be banned at all Herbert. I just think that women breastfeeding should not be kicked out of public places.
I don’t understand why so many people can’t stand the site of breastfeeding yet they happily take their very own children to petting zoo’s and so on and watch animals (of the non-human kind) feed their young and think it’s all so cute. We are mammals. Cows milk for cows. Human milk for humans.
I’m all about breastfeeding in public, and all that, but what I don’t understand is the argument of “Would YOU want to eat with a blanket over your head?” Babies are so different from us, we wouldn’t want to do half the things they do. Would YOU want to be swaddled when going to bed? I sure wouldn’t, but I still ‘subjected’ my child to it! Wear a diaper? Well I wouldn’t want to wear one either! But I make my child do it! I understand that some babies genuinely do not like it, but if you do it since birth, they will get used to it, and I don’t think its in any way cruel to the baby like others are suggesting with that argument. Just saying.
how can you compare swaddling to smothering?
babies are wrapped up as infants because it comforts them , they are tightly packed in a uterus for 9 months, so swaddling is a familiar comfort for them.
a diaper is a necessity.
covering them with a blanket, and depriving them of oxygen , is not at all a comfort or necessity.
i have fed 4 children , and im about to have my 5th, and i know from experience most babies like to look at the mothers face while they feed, its part of the bonding process, i know mine would not feed if i covered them, they would struggle and fidget etc.
but i guess now they will tell me to throw a blanket over my head aswell……
How about we look at morals and manners,there is an etiquette to everything. How many woman use breast feeding as a way to expose themself in public. Its a dangerous world out there do you want to risk that kind of danger. I am all for breast feeding if it is done right, have a little modesty we are not a third world country. We live in a very crowded world today and you should take in the feelings of those around you. If I don’t like what I see in a movie I can not go to see it in the first place turn it off or leave. I can have say over what I want to see. All I’m asking is use some desecration, there maybe children around. Would you want your children seeing someone urinating in public thats a very natural thing as well. Remember its all in how you look at things.
are you for real?
i have never met ANYONE who breast feeds as an excuse to flash their bits.
they all do it because its best for them and their child.
i have never seen any one feeding with it all hanging out either, every breast feeding woman i have ever seen have always been as discreet as possible, with the top covering most of the breast and the baby covering the rest, i personally keep my hand over it untill the baby is on, and as soon at he lets go, there is never any nipple visible, and if your lucky you might see about half an inch of flesh.
most women have low cup tops that show more boob than that!!!!!!
i would be more concerned about all the people running around in their low riders and their arse cracks hanging out, or the women who wear tiny little skirts with the butt cheeks poking out the bottom, but hang on, thats trendy, so thats ok isnt it!
if you really think women feed their young as an excuse to flash, then you need some serious therapy!, because you have some issues that need professional help.
Babies don’t drink urine. Did you feed your babies urine? That’s gross!!! If breastmilk and urine are the same thing in your mind, I can see why you are against breastfeeding in public…though I would think you would be against breastfeeding at all.
Maybe we need to become a third world country to get ourselves back in check with how we were meant to live! If you don’t like what you see walk the other way! As for urinating in public…how could you possibly compare the two. A grown person can hold their germ filled urine till they get to a bathroom but a screaming baby you cannot tell he or she that they have to wait till they get home. Feeding a baby should not take second to anything or anyone.
Almost everyone on here is talking about being customers at an establishment and having to see or not see women breast feeding. As a long time server, and breast feeding mother, I wish you would consider the people that can not avert their eyes. I would always feel very uncomfortable approaching a table where a mother was openly breast feeding, I know it has to be done, but it feels to the server as if you are interupting a very private momment between mother and child. Unless you are okay with not receiving service while breast feeding, please think of the people who have no choice but to look at you (and your empty water glass, need for extra dressing, etc.). Myself and other new mothers have always been able to arrange feeding around the 45 mins to 2 hours we are out to eat. Remember dinning out is a luxury not a right.
I have to add, its also not the act of breast feeding that is can be uncomfortable to watch, it’s the preperations. Often times there is a screaming baby, the awkward removal of articles of clothing, or trying to get the child to latch that causes others to look. Please don’t base your arguments that people are staring, quiet often you are not as unobtrusive as you think.
i get what your saying, but at the same time ….
i always feed my baby before i go out, but sometimes they want more sooner than expected, especially if they are having a growth spurt, or in the warmer weather.
you have to remember this is their food and drink.
if you were thirsty, would wait 2 hours for a drink?
I have a 3 month old and I have no problem breastfeeding her in public! I’ve nursed all my kids and I’ve never cared about feeding my child in public. God gave women breasts for 2 reasons, 1) to attract a mate 2) to feed children. And I’m not going to be ashamed by what God gave me!
Babies need to sip often to LIVE. Some people are not thinking about WHY breast feeding is done !
I use a cover, my personal choice! I’ve been breastfeeding for the past 8 years, in the beginning I never used a cover and got all kinds of looks, I didn’t care! With time and my breast getting much bigger and me getting to recognize that there is more than one look towards my body, I feel the calling to cover myself, If my baby’s head is all you can see I’m fine with that, but that is my personal choice.
I would never tell anyone else what to do; personally I love to see nursing moms and nursing pictures, I think is beautiful, so much I get teary eyes when I see the bonding that happens when is done. However I have also been subject of sick lusting towards it and it gives me the crips to even think someone is looking at my nursing baby and having obscene thoughts. The same thing I feel if I’m dress showing my body, but this is much worse. I believe God has called me to modesty and for that reason I try to be as discreet as possible.
All that said, I have never seen a breastfeeding mother in public that just lets her breasts out and shows them off… and of course this is all thanks to our media, I do agree that you can even see topless girls at the beach and not even care, but a nursing mom is like some alien… is so sad how young kids are disgusted by it, I call that just plain ignorance! so one has to educate us!
((someone))
I think many objectors are missing the main point of this post. It’s clear that we are bombarded DAILY with images of scantily clad women in magazines, on the web, on TV, in movies etc. And for some reason we don’t really have much of a problem with it. Yet when an average everyday woman uses a breast to feed her baby in public, all of a sudden there’s an issue and you want to make her feel bad for not being ‘modest’ or covering up? Look the other way if you have a problem with it, it’s as easy as looking away from those nasty skanks on so many magazine covers with hardly anything on. I breastfed both my babies and did so in public when we were out. I always tried to cover up – but you know what? Once babies get to be about 5-6 months old they can whip that cover right off their faces, especially if they don’t like it (which most of them don’t, and who can blame them). Everyone should have the right to feed their baby without being made to feel bad, no matter where they are.
My poor wife has been batteling unemployment because she choose to breastfeed our child. He wouldnt take a bottle and she had dificulties pumping. She was denied her unemployment beacause they told her it was her choice to breastfeed and not there problem. Does anyone have any info on how we can fight this. She was also fired from home depot because she couldnt return a month after his birth. Because she did what was best for our son,just dosent seem fair !!!
Move to Canada! 🙂
sounds like a discrimination case to me….i would fight it for sure!
I agree u should be able to breastfeed in public but do it discertly for us parents with older children or neriologicaly disabled kids who find this hard to explain to our kids without them getting upset leaves everyone uncomfortable. Thanks
Why is it hard to explain “the baby is eating”?
God gave us breasts to breastfeed our babies and provide for them with the most natural and healthy form of nutrition. Our children are Gifts from God! Breastfeeding is a babies form of eating and life support. If they are hungry in public and you have to feed them than so be it. It is a most beautiful natural thing and if anyone feels offended than look away!! Society makes me sick, they think people walking around with their breasts exposed for sexual purposes is OK but exposing a little breast when feeding a child is wrong. This goes to prove that this world is in the hands of Satan the Devil.!!! I believe that all restaurants and malls should provide nursing facilities for breast feeding mothers but if they can’t do that and a mother chooses NOT to feed her baby in a dirty bathroom stall than she should NOT be reprimanded for doing so in public. She can use a cover but there are babies who do not breastfeed well covered.. so in all fairness to all situations, people should just relax and remember that a mother is providing life for that child.. what would they rather her let the babe scream in hunger or would they rather see a mother beating her child or a child in Africa starving to death!! Think about it people and get a grip!!!
Oh my goodness, it’s just a breast, who cares? I have never seen anyone asked to leave or anyone make a big deal out of someone nursing. I guess it could be just where I live, people don’t really seem to care. I take my kids to playgroups and every once in awhile someone may get a flash, but I don’t see what the big deal is.
Wow! Missy….. First of all I have 2 very healthy big babies 1st (boy 9lb 4oz) is 4yrs old and 2nd (girl 9lb 10oz) is 9weeks old! Both of my children were/are bottle fed! I support the women who can breastfeed, but where is the support for us bottle feeding mothers? The pressure and expectations of breastfeeding is phenomenal, you talk about guilt! Yes there is some guilt because we are led to believe we have failed cos we can’t feed! But there’s no support for us! Personally I have no problems seeing a mother breastfeeding in public, I know I certainly wouldn’t like to eat my lunch in the toilets or hidden away so why make the babies! My cousin breastfeeds her children and has a cover/apron which I believe is a brilliant and beautiful creation is keeps the cover off the child’s face but the mother can also see what their babies are doing! Check them out! http://www.bebeaulait.com/products/hooter-hiders-nursing-covers
i am sorry it is a natural thing to breastfeed. people who do not understand this have to realise it is a choose. if my child was hungry and i was breastfeeding i would feed my child just like if you are giving a bottle to them. if you dont like it donot look. breasts are all over the place naked so what is the different if there is a child on it. that is how they eat so leave them eat
I get that some people are up in arms about the tone that they are getting from some of the BFers here. The problem is, you are telling me that when my child eats in public, it’s indecent exposure. That I should be arrested for nourishing my child where you might see it. A BFing Mom normally wouldn’t sit in the epicenter of a public place to nurse, the problem arises when you try and say that someone who bottle feeds can nourish their child in public, but a BFing Mom cannot, that we have less rights because we chose the natural way. THAT is when you get nurse-ins. A Nursing Mom more than likely will choose a sitting room, or a nursing room if there is one (NOT A BATHROOM). The Mall in Jacksonville, NC has a nursing room with a rocker, couch, sink, and changing table. I prefer the quiet room because it allows me to relax while BFing. Now, if I am at a mall, or wherever, and no such place exists, so be it. I don’t cover, but I try my best to keep people from seeing the majority of my breast. No BFer WANTS you to see her breast, she wants to feed her child. My child HATED the cover, and it just never worked. I have breastfed at AppleBee’s, at Target, in Malls, and all sorts of places. Most people don’t notice. If you notice, don’t worry about it. If you child notices, you can tell them that I am giving my Baby dinner, some mommies feed babies with bottles, and some mommies use their breasts. That’s what I told my niece and nephews.
My Sister bottlefed, and it was the best choice for her family. She was the sole income for her family, breastfeeding just wasn’t an option (she’s a waitress). Sure, someone should have provided her a room to pump, and breaks to do so, but that isn’t the point. She was putting food on the table, which is what we all try to do, boob or bottle. I never look down on her for the choice she made.
The problem is that you want to say that someone who feeds with a bottle is welcome to feed ANYWHERE, but someone who chooses breast has to hide away like a leper. I do not choose to cover, but I don’t wiggle my juggs in the faces of those around me. They’re just boobs.
The point here is that we see as much boob on magazine covers, and popping out of someone shirt at Walmart as you would from someone who is breastfeeding in public (sometimes less), and you think it’s indecent? It’s not breast VS bottle, it’s not an issue of flaunting in public. Listen, I just want to feed my child when she is hungry. If there is not a comfortable discreet place available, I’ll choose where I am sitting, and if there is a discreet place, I should not have to choose it, a bottle feeding Mom does not have to. The lady 2 tables over who has her breasts spilling out of her shirt isn’t asked to leave. I’ve got an objective, one that does good for me and my child. I am not a leper.
So the people here complaining about breast being exposed in public while nursing are offended? Well I’m offended that YOU take breast milk from a cow and drink it, eat it and what ever else you do with your cows milk. Why is it acceptable to say “awwwwww” when seeing an animal feeding their young but when a human does it people find it offensive? Really it’s 2011 not 1950. I suggest the offenders get off their high horse and find something better to complain about. Something that will make a difference in our world. No use getting a group of breast feeding mothers in a tizzy you wont win.
I linked to your very good article from my blog today at http://eurolac.blogspot.com/2011/12/stille-killer.html It is in Dutch, so not many will be able to read. What I write is in essence the same, coming to the conclusion that a person getting uncomfortable by seeing a baby mouthing a breast is the one with the problem: connecting the dots via the route of sexual behaviour. Well, a dirty mind is a joy for ever, just don’t bother breastfeeding moms with your own feelings of guilt for thinking naughty thoughts at the siight of a baby at breast.
I don’t see the problem here. The intent of a breast-feeding mother is to tend to the needs of her child. I would quickly understand this if I happened to notice the situation. These skimpy dresses and sexually provocative advertisements have the intent to excite and attract attention. Personally, I would just disregard this because of my own beliefs and morals. Why on earth would I consider giving someone the authority to affect my comfort? I am in a world where each person has free will, how they choose to act or what they choose to say are their concerns. A parent being upset about what their child is exposed to is understandable as is a parent being just as willing to expose their child to the world and teach them as they see fit.
I simply believe that it is your own choice as to whether or not something affects you. I see no point in raising a fuss if the action in question is not causing any physical,emotional, or mental harm.
Brilliant!!!! It’s so true though isn’t it? As long as boobs are seen as sexual, then it’s ok, but when they’re being used for the primary purpose, then it’s disgusting? I don’t think so, people really do need to get a grip! Good effort on your post, made me laugh xxx
Our culture is so messed up…I spent years living in Tribal Africa where people live the way God intended us to. Where muscles are made by working, not in a gym for vantity, and boobs feed babies – I saw so many boobs every day hanging this way and that with a baby attached it became completely normal. On the other hand, I could not dress there the way I could here, they find it offensive to wear such short shorts or skirts, or dress sexually provacative. OUr culture on the other hand has OVER SEXUALIZED women to such an EXTREME that we see even breastfeeding as somehow sexual and innapropriate, while our teenage girls are walking around with shorts so short their ass cheeks are hanging out the bottom and a thong hanging out over the top. We have it soooo backwards.
Breastfeeding is a natural way of feeding your child. If people don’t like it, well too bad. Honestly what is the difference of breastfeeding a child in public and all these teenagers looking like they do (hence the skuzy little shirts and shorts that show half their asses). If people don’t like the sight of a mother breastfeeding their child then well those people have the choice not to look.
As an osteopath that works with babies I say: DONT use a blanket.
1 – When a baby is eating his body heats up a bit, so he will need all the fresh air he can get.
2 – Babies tend do sleep while eating if they are too much covered. This could cause some problems in the pattern eat-sleep
3 – Eye contact baby- mom is so important to creat a bond
Looking at it, it makes no sense at all: Do we know anyone that puts a blanket over the head while eating lunch?
The blanket over the head is used by a sociological reason, not a biological one.
It is only offensive to those men that are getting none, or women who are jealous of what they do not have, ie boobs or baby. Since it is a natural part of mothering for all mammals, it is the minds of those who are upset by it that needs in depth analyzing, as to what their real sexual perversions are. Are they also upset by a cow and her calf.. They were made for feeding not for sex. Clothing and covering up is not a natural state for anyone really. You see more of me in my bikini than you do when I use to feed my children. Or is it an insult to men to know that the breast and the sex is off limit as the body and breast now belongs to the child and it is a jealousy issue, as it shows a deeper ingrained genetic message to stay away..
I actually find the site beautiful, as it is a glorious picture of motherhood, and her love for her child that clearly shows through. It is a wonderful bonding moment for both at anytime.
A breast feeding mom. Should be supported for breast feeding. There are way to many ways to say its to hard I am uncomfortable feeding in public so I am going to use formula. And it’s peopl the think it’s offensive to breast feed in public that make it harder. U should be congratulating the ones that do it. It takes pride in yourself your body and no shame to do what we do if u don’t like it don’t look at us. Cause we don’t much like u looking either
I’m proud of the fact that when my two year old son sees a statue of a naked women (there are a lot at museums & gardens), he says, “baby eat.” If only we could all have the innocence of a child, & not be perverted by what out society deems “appropiate” or not.
I cannot believe this debate is still going on after all these years. Seriously, all Americans with an aversion to this natural, beautiful HEALTHY choice need to spend a week in Africa where mothers wear NOTHING on top so that their children can feed at a moments notice. Modesty.. Religion.. it’s all an excuse to have something to bitch about. What’s more offensive… a quiet baby, happily nursing from his mother’s breast or a screaming, hungry, miserable child who’s cries carry through the entire restaurant you’re eating at. I don’t care who you are or what you believe about modesty or “being made to feel uncomfortable” .. You’re obviously a self righteous prat with no regard for human rights if you find breastfeeding in public without a cover up to be disrespectful. The general public makes me sick.
so let me get this straight its ok to be practically nude as long as your selling crap which is scandulous and slutty but its not ok to breastfeed which is natural i mean i think you got your priorites twisted and im gonna assume this was made by a dude and yes women should be more modest and use a blanket but its extremely disrespectful to women when celebrities pose nude because then women are preceived as objects not human beings that deserve respect
[…] wanted to share these: https://naturesmother.wordpress.com/2…-for-yourself/ http://www.facebook.com/NNIPL I nurse anywhere and everywhere. I see to get fleeting eyes and […]
I just can’t believe in some of these comments – the negative ones that is. Totally agree with the positive ones. I bf two babies and was never once told to leave or cover up and I would not have done either. Did try to cover up with first child and it is to awkward. I also do not like to hide away in a toilet to feed. yuk. Do you eat in a toilet? I was actually on two separate occasions with my second bub commended on breastfeeding my babies, but boy did I get a bit worried when approached by the people before they said anything.
These photographs are all beautiful. How could they possibly be offensive? If you want an example of something offensive, look at a picture of a starving child, or one without a loving mother, or a mother who cannot feed her child for one reason or another.
Making love is a beautiful experience too! When can we start watching that at the mall also?
Lol. Yes, but thankfully we don’t have to make love while we nourish our babies! slight difference..
Hmm. Logic fail. Let me try to explain. Having sex is a sexual activity. You don’t need to do it 8-12 times in every 24 hour period. It is a appropriate that this ‘beautiful experience’ be confined to private places. (Try telling the porn moguls and most of the media and advertising industries that. You watch it at the mall all the time, actually.) Breastfeeding is not a sexual activity. It does not have sexual connotations except in the minds of the ignorant and the perverse. Breastfeeding is about feeding babies. Babies need feeding often. So mothers feed them often. This is normal and healthy and nothing to do with sex and it is not offensive. It’s (sigh) normal.
I’m breastfeeding my baby at home in full view of her big sisters as I type this…..
I breastfeed in public as my sweet baby girl needs it. I am not embarrassed. Why should I be? I choose to cover up because I am pretty modest, but if a fellow breastfeeding mommy chooses not to cover up, who cares? I am glad she’s feeding her baby. I will happily support and applaud her efforts. If you are looking close enough to see nipples and all that, look away because you’re looking WAY too closely. That or keep a blanket with you to put over your head as you eat. Or eat in the public restroom in a stall sitting on the toilet. Sound appetizing or sanitary? Didn’t think so. Breasfeeding moms have the law on their side in many states, so get over yourselves if you have a problem with us.
For the record, I don’t care how a woman chooses to feed her baby. I just care that the baby gets to eat when he or she is hungry.
I am a 50 year old mother who nursed her children and here is what I have to say about this article and your responses. Mary nursed Jesus because that is how GOD intended it to be and that is what the breasts were put on women for! It is because of the growth of society and MEN that have made the body a dirty thing and the nursing of a baby ( one of the most intimate and beautiful things in the world) a dirty thing. For you women who have never breastfed a child you need to keep silent!!! Until you have done it you will never know a bonding with your baby the way we have. I nursed 2 and bottle fed 1 and there most definitely is a difference. All you mothers out their that know what I am talking about should let their voices be heard. Sadly I have to agree with one thing…today all mothers should cover up when nursing their babies because of the perversion in out society today and how men look at women with absolutely no respect. I am not speaking against all men and women but the vast majority of them. I don’t usually get involved in this kind of stuff but today reading this hit a sore spot with me. I have a 6 mnth old granddaughter whose mother breast feeds and she is a very beautiful young woman whom I am sure gets all kinds of looks from men when nursing in public even though she covers up. Today covering up has become a respectful thing for the mother and not for all you ridiculous women who cannot look at one of your sisters feeding her baby without discust. Praise to all mothers who breastfeed! And Molly I totally second that!
Let me clarify something I have been saying in my replys. When I say cover up I don’t mean your baby’s head. You should always have constant eye contact with your child and talk or sing to him or her. When I say cover up I am talking about the part of your breast that can be seen. But by no means should you cover your child. As a matter of fact you should be so proud of that little one that you show him or her off when feeding and not feeding.
I just want to address something I’ve seen in several comments that bothers me. Disapproval of public breastfeeding is not indicative of not having been breastfed as a baby. I was born lactose intolerant and had to survive on soy milk for the first several years of my life, I also happen to support breastfeeding whole heartedly. I do not have any children currently, and I do not know what exactly my children and I will have to work out to make breastfeeding in public comfortable for us. What I do know is I will breastfeed, barring any complications that prevent it, and I will most likely do it in public. I will also try to be considerate of those around me. I know how much I appreciate it when a stranger shows me consideration, and I have no problem doing the same. I will not however take anyone’s prejudice against me and how I raise my children anywhere, any time. I will do everything I can to further the cause of public breastfeeding in a polite and appropriate manner. And I never had the benefit of being breastfed. Think about that the next time to you’re prepared to judge someone on how they were nourished in their infancy.
if my baby is hungary ill feed him anywhere. .
to all the people who think breast feeding in public is disgusting this post is for you. its people like you who make something that is necessary for the nurishment of my baby so complicated. i have children of my own and have breast fed in public and will probably have more children and will breast feed them in public and if you have a problem with it try say something to my face. ,This is a free country i have a right to feed my child and if you dont like it you have a right to walk away or dont look but i am not inconvinencing myself for the likes of you. i agree with everyone else. Why should i have to hide / go somewhere else or cover my baby with a blanket. it is not only uncomfortable for me but its certainly uncomfortable for my child and i am not treating breastfeeding as something i should have to be ashamed of. and what gave you any given right to tell me what to do. i certainly dont need anyones permission to feed my baby in public. and if you think that is so offensive maybe you shouldnt go to the shops becuase there are millions of magazines that have boobies everywhere and millions of girls showing of their clevage. you shouldnt watch the tv becuase there is lots of Public displays of affection and stuff on their dont go to the movies either, or listen to the radio ( they have dirty jokes and talk about it god forbid you get offended) infact pretty much dont go anywhere. stay in your house and sit starring at a wall.
becuase guess what im not hiding breastfeeding my child for anyone and you dont have no right to tell me to so get lost…
and i dont have a problem with mothers bottle feeding. its up to the individual to decide what to do their baby their choice. but i do have a problem with people who think they have a right to tell me what to do in my own life.
Things I’ve heard discouraged because it might make someone uncomfortable:
1. Interracial friendships, or, heaven forbid–marriages.
2. Same sex relationships
3. Developmentally disabled people in public
4. A woman correcting a man in public or competing with a man in athletics
5. Wearing religious icons/symbols
My great grandmother risked her life in the Jim Crow Southeastern US by welcoming her African-American friend into her home through the front door and treating her the same as her “white” friends. It just wasn’t done and it made people uncomfortable.
As our culture changes, we’ll see breastfeeding as more normal and no big deal.
When I find myself having an “uncomfortable” reaction to something someone else is doing or saying, I try to take the opportunity to examine the beliefs I have that are being challenged. I am responsible for my thoughts and feelings.
I no longer adapt my behavior simply to please others. I’m all for decency and respect and common courtesy, to a point. When I am doing something I believe in and you are uncomfortable, I’m unlikely to adapt my behavior.
I am a family physician and the mother of a breastfed child. I am a breastfeeding advocate and work to re-create a breastfeeding culture in this country. Nursing is a learned behavior for primates. To do it well, we need to have seen it at least a few times before we do it ourselves. Having our children see nursing is GOOD for them and for their future children. Less “discretion” means more information for the next generation. I love to see mothers nursing their babies in all settings.
Modesty is a personal choice and its meaning and purpose is open to interpretation. Respect means allowing me to make that choice, within the limits of the law.
In my community, there is a gender-neutral nudity law: women and men can bare their chests in public. I’ve never seen a woman bare her chest in public in the 20 years I’ve lived here.
For all of these people bringing god into the conversation … Do you think little baby Jesus was fed with his face covered up with a damn blanket?! Why are people so uptight when seeing a little skin? People complain about breastfeeding in public … But I bet I wouldn’t get any complaints rocking a push up bra that’s 3cm away from a nipple slip. Come on now people! Open your damn minds if my baby is hungry she is going to eat when she wants and where she wants. When did it become so offensive to be human?!
The next time your having your lunch out and about do me a favour, cover your head with a blanket, I don’t want to see your face nawing away on your lunch. It offensive. Thanks.
oh your flippen god…. are you just offended by the female body because you dont like yours? its a natural thing to breast feed and i see that you only choose pics that can b found ne where on the web why dont you go into public and get real pictures you have taken in real life time at real life places? i have seen mothers breast feed in public you know what i see???? a blanket with a baby being held under it so NO ONE CAN BE OFFENDED!!!!! get real proof of your own things for people to complain about. and not just pictures you find on the web. and if you are just uncomfortable with your body you should not push it on to others.
Hi Molly, I think you’ll find I’m on your side. And if you look through my blog there are many photos of me breastfeeding my babies and I don’t cover up and I think it’s a beautiful thing. I do happen to be perfectly comfortable with my body, with all it’s imperfections. Perhaps you misunderstood the post, have another read. What it is saying is why is society ok with girls using their breasts to sell beer, etc, but society is often disgusted by women breastfeeding their child – even sometimes asking them to leave public places! Crazy world we live in! 🙂
Women’s Body .. Women’s Choice
Discreet, not discreet .. it’s none of anyone’s business
People who have issues with breast-feeding rights and women’s bodily autonomy are offensive and should take their ideas into their own private spaces.
If you catch a glimpse of norty nipple .. you are probably staring too hard. Personally, I have enough needs to focus on breastfeeding my 18mo twins without taking others petty needs into account.
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People think it is so offensive to breastfeed a child in public, but, have they ever thought of the fact of a man baring his breasts in public. No! Don’t think so. It’sok for a man to bare his breasts in public where it’s NOT okay for a woman to bare her breasts and feed her child. Well, men have the same breast tissue that women do. Women just have bigger breasts. Well, not always lol. People made some very good comments on the fact that covering up your child while breastfeeding could be uncomfortable to the child. Yes, it is true. Would you want a cover over your head while you were eating? I sure wouldn’t. I breastfed my children in public. And I did use a cover. Only because I didn’t want to cause a seen or make my teenage son uncomfortable. When I was home, my bare breast was there in front of my teenage boy. Did he care? Heck no! People need to grow up and look at the bigger picture. A breastfed baby is the best fed baby! Get it? Got It? You should. A mother feeding her child is the most special bond that only a mother could have. If you have a baby that you cover up during breastfeeding, and that baby unlatches from the breast, it makes breastfeeding more difficult. This could be avoided if we didn’t feel the need to cover a breastfeeding child. I don’t think it is fair to a breastfeeding mother to have to look at some man with big man breasts that are bare, but she is unable to bare her breasts to feed her child, which is a natural thing to do. People talk about religous belief, however, adam and eve decided to cover themselves up. NOT GOD!
Okay so i dont have a problem with breast feeding but i do think mothers should be respectful of others especially in a resturant. Me being a server its very uncomfortable to see someone nursing while im taking their order because i cant just walk away. Its my job. I have to deal with it but its not fair to me to have to see someones breast and feel uncomfortable while im working. There are alot of ways to discreatly bf your child why not use them?
I. Don’t. Understand. Why you would feel uncomfortable to see someone’s breasts when they are breastfeeding a baby. It’s normal. It’s natural. It’s admirable. It’s healthy. Just smile and be pleased! Just say, oh what a gorgeous baby, may I recommend the fish? You have to de-sexualise women’s bodies! All you have to wrap your head around is that Women’s Bodies Belong to Them. They Are Not Sex Objects. They Are Not Primarily FOR Sex. Then you will be fine, and a glimpse of pretty breast while a baby happily suckles will not make you feel uncomfortable.
I really object to the inference that a mother breastfeeding in a restaurant is somehow failing to be “respectful”. It’s not the same a wolf-whistling or opening a trenchcoast and flashing schoolkids or mooning someone. Those actions are disrespectful. Breastfeeding is not. Go look at those photos again. Less than 30% of mothers are still breastfeeding at 6 months. Of these, only a few are going to be out breastfeeding in public. Of these, only a few are going to be revealing more than a tiny few centimetres of flesh, and then only for a few seconds in time. The chances of anyone’s personal boundaries being encroached upon by the Boobing Muffia are miniscule. Compared to how likely your children are to be sexualised. Compared to how likely you are to be bombarded with pornographic images objectifiying and devaluing women everywhere you go, everywhere you look. Your children too. Compared to your daughter’s chances of forming a lasting, safe, satisfying relationship with a mature male who has not been pornified. Really. Focus on the big picture. Why is natural birth and breastfeeding so under attack? Why are women feeling they must shave off their body hair, their labia and in some cultures, even their clitori? Let me give you a hint: formula makes money. Intervention in birth makes money. The pharmaceutical industry and the obstetric industry do not get their cut when a woman uses her vagina for its intended purpose. Formula companies miss out when women use their breasts for their intended purpose. And some patriarchal-minded individuals actually believe that their profit and success and standard of living matters more than than women’s empowerment and babies’ well-being. There’s more money to made in cutting off the foreskins of little boys instead of leaving them intact. So do not fear. I’m sure you’ll find that intervention in birth will continue to rise and midwifery will continue to be demonised and natural birth rates and breastfeeding rates will continue to drastically fall and your chances of ever seeing any woman anywhere breastfeeding her baby or toddler or child will be negligible.
i dont see what the big deal is. if there are any men who get offended by bare breasts they must be gay. any women offended by bare breasts must be even flatter than me. my daughter is breastfed and i am jealous at her for getting all the action i used to be able to get. my son is getting jealous too! dammit, i want some boobies in my face too
there is no discreet way to feed your baby without making you or the baby feel uncomfortable. So what are you saying that because we are in a resturant we have to leave or go in the toilet to feed the child. A) i aint going to the toilet do you eat in the toilet, maybe try it before you suggest it. B) you try eating with a blanket over your head and see how comfortable you feel C} mother need food to be able to produce milk. If you dont like it you personally shouldnt work in the business with customer service as you have to deal with all sorts of people and if they have children and that child needs to be fed then you just have to deal with it. im sure you manage to serve a person that is talking with their mouth full and have to clean up food mess that is all over the floor thanks to toddlers. Its part of the job and im sorry but you just have to deal with it. (THIS IS DISCRIMINATION) and personally i always got taught if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all. ( maybe if you guys dont have any good opinions you should just keep them to yourselves.) instead of hurting other peoples feelings.
People can avert their eyes to a crime – a woman getting beaten, a child crying because he or she is lost or hurting, something that might inconvience them, or to someone in need, but they cannot avert their eyes to a woman feeding her child? Sad society we live in. I breastfed both my children, I tried to be as discreet as possible, but I wasn’t going to make my child use a cover (which they both disliked)
I’d like to add my 2 cents from the male perspective. I consider breastfeeding a perfectly natural act, and I applaud women who are comfortable enough to do it in public. I know people that have different opinions than mine and I attempt to talk with them when possible, but it’s not something that most men are comfortable talking about and it’s even stranger when another man asks them about it. I know some people are stubborn and set in their ways, but I disagree when they make a big stink about it rather than worrying about the bigger problems we face day-to-day.
With that said, I have to agree that most, if not all, men view breasts as sexual objects regardless of why they are exposed. This becomes a bigger “issue” when the person doing the breastfeeding is someone that the male knows personally…maybe they’re even sexually attracted to them. For example, I was participating in a baby and parent yoga class where breastfeeding during class was encouraged. The instructor was pregnant during the class (something that I find extremely attractive) and had a newborn baby that she ended up feeding in the middle of class one day. I still remember the short glimpse of her breast that I got, both out of respect for her breastfeeding her baby and being comfortable enought to “whip it out” in public, but also because it was sexually stimulating to get to see her breast…even if only for a second. Whether you agree or not, most Americans are raised with the mentality that the female breast is to be covered and kept private similar to the genitals. This makes glimpses of them, especially someone you know, “tabboo.”
I do hope that when my sons grow up they live in a world where breastfeeding anywhere is universally accepted. Whether or not that will ever happen I do not know. I do have one question though, is it odd for a guy to (for lack of a better term) thank a woman for breastfeeding in public (doing what’s good for their child/bring comfortable enough to do so/standing up for their right to do so)? Would that be considered odd/creepy?
I personally wouldn’t consider it creepy if you applauded me for breastfeeding in public. It’s the type of thing my husband says to women, some understand what he’s saying, others-who don’t know him very well- think it’s creepy. Depends how well you know each other, I suppose.
Good point on the getting a peek of boob, I know that is the case. Even I, as another woman tend to avert my eyes because of social conditioning. And yes I do too hope that for our children it different, that they can see that breasts can be both sexual and for nourishing babies…but that the latter should definitely not have to be a tabboo, secret, complicated affair.
I saw more boob on “Fear Factor” last night than I EVER showed when I was nursing. ‘Nuff said.
This is what I tell people ALL the time. Although I cover up with a blanket b/c I dont like to let anything show. But still thats why we have them. It’s not just for our hubbies! I have been harassed in public by strangers. But yet the same people didnt care when I feed my friends daughter a bottle. My child was hungry too. Sorry I didnt feed her a bottle. Instead I feed her what God intended me to feed her.
i am a christian and breastfeeding your baby openly is not inappropriate at all!!! it is natural and the way a baby is meant to be fed! some people are very ignorant and think oh we should definitely hide while we nurse our babies because its disgusting or inappropriate! thats why God gave us boobs and made our milk perfect! there is a reason so many moms formula feed and put their babys health at risk (read the research thats exactly what you are doing) its because of ignorant people like them! they feel they hafto hide so because they are discriminated against our society will continue to look at bfeeding as obscene when really its perfect milk for your baby! in reality we should look at formula feeding mothers as obscene for giving their babies something that they werent meant to ever get!!! and yes i’m a devote christian!!! so faith has nothing to do with the facts! breastfeeding is the norm and God intended it!!!
oh and naturesmother and Mike my husband does the same thing! he thinks its awesome to see mothers nursing openly in public and applauds them! he doesnt even avert his eyes because its so normal and natural and not inappropriate! he sits there and has conversations with women while they are nursing and never thinks twice about it:) i think its awesome! my boys will know that nursing is normal even as teenagers i will expose them to nursing women! i want them to know it is appropriate and the way a baby should be fed and there is not a thing wrong with it! my boys will see women as maternal not just sexual!
Our problem is our country, not breastfeeding. We have a twisted view on breastfeeding in general and an even more extreme, disheartening view on breastfeeding in public. As a RN and soon to be midwife, I have heard many men say, “She’s not breastfeeding, those breasts are for me,” or “I don’t want my boobs to sag so I’m not going to breastfeed.” So extremely sad and illogical. I have done midwifery work in Ghana and lived in Europe for 4 years. In BOTH places, people openly breastfed in public without a cover. I sat on the stairs in Rome next to a woman openly breastfeeding and the same at the Pantheon in Paris. No one looks, no one cares, everyone knows it is normal. It is this country alone that has a problem. I have no idea why, but more people need to breastfeed in public to change things. Not so long ago black Americans were not allowed to eat with white Americans and that was changed due to activists. That is what is needed in this case as well. Babies should be allowed to eat whenever and wherever they need to without repercussions to the mother. Things will not change here in this country until we make a change. I hope more people will breastfeed in public, so much so, that in the near future, it will be seen as normal and not nasty!
Sex is also a “natural” thing, but it’s illegal to have sex in public. Or what about having a bowl movement? It’s natural. Heck, most mammals do it in public. We have diapers for a reason, and there are many different ways to keep bfing private for a reason. And, yes, I realize these are crazy comparisons…just like saying bfing in public isn’t offensive bc all mammals do it.
Justanothermom you are so ignorant! taking a crap is totally different then feeding a baby! i feel so sorry women like you. i really do:(
Lol, thanks for your pitty, but I don’t need it. You can’t dispute that BOTH breastfeeding AND bowl movements are perfectly natural bodily functions, can you? We as a culture decided that at a certain age it was not ok to use the restroom anywhere one pleases, correct? So, if the above statements are true about breastfeeding, then why can they not be true about other natural bodily functions?
I’m just simply pointing out the facts. Sorry if it blows a hole in your argument. The fact is that even though things are natural does not change that they are still PRIVATE. I dont want to see you breastfeeding, & you dont want to see me using the restroom.
hahaha justanothermom, you are funny! Imagine comparing bowel movements to feeding a hungry child??? What drugs are you on? Complete ignorance.
so, are you saying that bowl movements are not natural? I’m confused as to why I am assumed to be on drugs bc my opinion differs from the opinion of this blog. You cannot deny that BOTH bfing and bm are natural. Why is it that it’s okay to expose one publicly, but not expose the other? Oh, and FYI, I breastfed my baby. I just found a way to do it discretely.
Amen to what Laura said!!! that is the reason i will never use a cover again while nursing!! because if more women were bold and would nurse openly then society would begin to see it as normal and beautiful and the way it was meant to be!!! I am also an RN Laura! i completely agree! i refuse to use a cover because i want to raise awareness about breastfeeding and that it is how it should be! in fact all of my childrens mouths drop when they see a baby being bottle fed but when they see a mother nursing they look and say how cute they are and talk to them and say “is that good booby milk” lol its adorable! they know how and what a baby should be fed and its not crap (formula!)!!!
who ever posted this is a fucking idiot. breasts are absolutely beautiful and should be shown to the entire world. they express femininity, motherhood and beauty. be ashamed of yourself for posting such a filthy view.
I agree with your comments. Who are you referring to when you say ‘be ashamed of yourself for posting such a filthy view.’
Let me start by saying that I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH WOMEN BREAST FEEDING IN PUBLIC WITH OR WITHOUT A COVER. It does not offend me nor does it disgust me. What does affect me, however, is how judgmental SOME (not the majority) of the ‘good moms’ (as one person labeled you) are. You absolutely have the right to defend your choices and fight for your freedoms; however, you do not have the right to pass judgement onto others. Who are you to say that someone’s OPINION is wrong because it differs from yours? Who are you to say that you are a ‘good mother’ and someone else is a ‘bad mother’ because of that difference in opinion? Who are you to wish blindness on those who are offended by a woman’s exposed breast? You do not have that right, just as I do not have the right to judge you for your opinions. There is a difference between debating the two sides and using childish tactics to express your beliefs. Using hurtful words and wishing injury on someone, no matter what your beliefs, makes it nearly impossible for your opinions to be heard and unlikely that anyone will take you seriously. You may very well be the mother of the year, and you may have very valid and important contributions to make to this discussion, but once I read something like, “people like you I wish I had the power to make blind.” I am immediately turned off to anything else you have to say and I won’t be the only one.
I would also like to point that although it is a very valid argument that breasts are EVERYWHERE – in the media and in our day-to-day lives – you cannot argue that one should not be offended by breast feeding because it is in movies, commercials, magazines, in the streets, etc unless you KNOW FOR A FACT that that same person isn’t offended by the exposure of breasts outside of breast feeding. I’m sure that this argument would be affective and accurate with the majority of men and women who take offense to breast feeding, but I do know of a rare few who are offended by nudity (or near nudity) no matter the cause.
Who are you to tell me who to judge and who not to judge? I have a right to judge people, just like you have a right to judge people. We judge people every day, and respond to our discernment and intuition and experience with regards to others all the time. We would be stupid not to.
Why do you care what I think about you? Why should I care if you think I am a “good mom” or a “bad mom”? It doesn’t hurt me in the least if you think I’m a bad mom, because I don’t know you and I don’t care what you think of me. And you are wrong. Unless you are right, and something you says makes me rethink my parenting choices, and I change them, and then, whala – I’m a better mother. Isn’t that a positive outcome from judgement?
You have no power over what I am doing, and me judging someone has no power over what they are doing. I don’t have to support others choices when I think they are wrong.
I am not telling anyone that they cannot judge people, and I am definitely not saying that people should support something they do not believe in, just that they should TOLERATE people who have differing opinions that they shouldn’t be SO judgmental based on one opinion that a person may have. If you choose not to be tolerant, that is your right, but I strongly believe that everyone is entitled to their opinions without the threat of bodily harm, or, as I stated earlier, hurtful words spat back at them. It is bullying – the same that I see in my classroom. It upsets me to see so many people being so hateful towards each other rather than speaking (or typing) to each other in a respectful, mature manner.
Nothing that was said in these comments has hurt me personally. I, too, breast feed my children and have done so in public. I, too, have been ridiculed for doing so. Did it bother me that people judged me? Obviously not, because I continue to do so. Did I lash out at them in response to that judgment? Absolutely not. I refuse to set that as the example for my children to follow. Does that make me right and you wrong? No, it means that we have a difference in opinion and we can agree to disagree.
I know how easy it can be to judge people based on a snapshot of their life; whether it be their appearance, their family, a single action, or, in this case a simple response to a blog post. As a teacher, it can be very difficult to read a child’s file and meet his or her family and NOT judge that child before he or she sets foot in the classroom; however, I manage to do it every single year. I refuse to let what I’ve heard from other teachers influence my perspective because that is completely unethical and UNFAIR to that child. I cannot tell you how many ‘problem children’ I have gotten in my class, only to find out that they are some of the hardest working because I RESPECTED THEM enough to give them the benefit of the doubt and spoke to them with honesty and respect when they have made a poor choice. If I were to treat them as a ‘problem’ like so many in this thread have done to those who don’t agree with breast feeding in public, I would be greeted with nothing but disrespect and ignorance which would only dissuade them from listening to me and ultimately make it impossible for me to teach them.
You are correct; I don’t know you and you don’t know me, so why judge me based on my skin color, my apparel, my hairstyle, my shoes, my lack of wedding band, my profession, or ONE of my many opinions? Just because people do something all the time does not make it right. Judging someone by one comment made on the internet is the equivalent of judging someone by the sound of his or her voice. You may be able to take in the whole appearance of someone and make a judgement that he or she is not the type of person you want your child to be around, but it is another thing to declare someone a ‘bad mother’ or say that they are deserving of some form of punishment because of one tiny snapshot you have of them.
You say “I am not telling anyone that they cannot judge people”, but in your first post, you said “you do not have the right to pass judgement onto others.” So, fail.
Please be tolerant of my judgement.
It’s true that it is not your right to judge others because you, like me and everyone else in the world has faults; that does not mean that you cannot judge; although, I can see how my choice of words would seem contradictory. As for your second statement, I feel that I am tolerant of you judgment simply by responding without being disrespectful to you or becoming angry at your refusal to agree with my beliefs. That IS your right.
I’m really not looking for an argument. Whether you agree or disagree is up to you and will not harm me in any way – only make me reevaluate my thinking and strengthen or weaken my beliefs depending on the ideas that you present in response.
I don’t have an issue with someone whipping out a bottle in public to feed their child. I don’t believe that they should have an issue with me breastfeeding mine. I cover up, I’m decent, I’ve done it with three children. God made us this way, there’s nothing offensive about that.
Feeding a baby was the intent of breast…..not to fill out a sweater. There is nothing more beautiful than a mother discreetly breastfeeding her baby….anywhere….anytime.
I’ve breastfed all three of my children, in public as well as in private. I do not use a blanket or a nursing cover, but have learned to be very discreet. Most people in a mall, a restaurant, at the zoo, or wherever I might be wouldn’t even know I was nursing at all. Occasionally people do notice and it doesn’t seem to bother most of them. The handful of people that seem to be uncomfortable when they notice usually turn their heads or move to a location they are more comfortable with. I do want to be sensitive to those few as long as it does not cause me or my baby a problem. Sometimes I have angled my body in a different direction, moved a stroller just so, or tossed a lite blanket over my shoulder (when my babies were small enough not to care and I had one handy). Times when making an adjustment would cause a problem I just don’t worry about it. When my baby and I are visiting other people in their home I nurse where I am most comfortable. I can usually read if those we are visiting are going to feel uncomfortable if I breastfeed my baby in front of them. If it was someone like my father-in-law, for example, I figured I would just do it. Might as well break him in early since we would be visiting them often! If it was someone much less close, then I would likely not want a weird tension in the room, and excuse myself to nurse in private in another room. Other times I have not wanted to miss out on conversation and been as discreet as possible. I feel like the breastfeeding issue does not need to be so dramatic. I have never seen a women expose an excess amount of skin when breastfeeding in a public place (well, maybe at an LLL meeting! But that is pretty safe place to do so!). I am not saying that there aren’t women that do expose more skin then necessary, but I think that they are far and few between. Most breastfeeding mothers are probably a lot like me 🙂
i bet everyone who is against breast feeding in public was not breast fed and they dont have that connection with there mother the way breastfed children have and are angry for that get over it people its been out there for centuries and it will always be out there
You found the Christina Aguilera cover of Maxxim offensive? You know what pisses me off? People who spout off about tolerance and are too stupid to realize they are being hypocritical in poorly written, milquetoast blog. And Leave Britney Alone!!
Boobs are awesome, not disgusting.
Nothing is appaling than your own ignorance and I wonder why you insult women in developing countries in making your point. Some cultures in the third worlds may stll be living in primitive stages without the luxury you and I enjoy but they don’t go about parading their indecency as is norm in the western world (porn and sex every where in public). You’d rather do us much good educating the youth about the devastating effects of premarital sex, porn and the likes than trying to twist what nature has bequeath unto our mothers.
As a breastfeeding Mum of her two previous children and soon to be third. I was nervous that I would expose my breasts when feeding when I had my first daughter. I soon discovered that feeding in public is not a case of exposing breasts or anything. I wear a strappy top under my clothes, pull that top down and my other top up and baby latched on and there is no skin on show, people do not even notice and that is even those at the same table as me. Also when I am in public places like restaurants etc, I asked to be seated somewhere that is less busy or facing away from main customers as I know people do have problems with breastfeeding etc. Natural and respectful.
I am a musing mom that will cover everything with a blanket so nothing is exposed. I will also go to my car to feed my baby. But why is it that I get kicked out of public places when I am not exposing anything but my babies feet sticking out the end of the blanket? It seams the more I cover up the more people have an issue with it. If business have an issue with us trying to feed our kids they should provide a mothers room for us to feed our kids in!!
I hate these sort of arguments. “Look at these whores who are more offensive than any breastfeeding mothers!” Society sexualizes women, and that is a problem, however, I feel like much of this is criticizing women who show their breasts in non breastfeeding capacity. Yet you want other women to support your decision to breastfeed while you judge women for showing their bodies in other capacity. The sexualization of women is the problem, no body is offensive. I support your right to breastfeed in public, but please stop demonizing other women to support your argument.
*in any other capacity.
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